SINGAPORE: A concerned employer has taken to social media to ask if certain behaviours by his new domestic helper might be considered “red flags.”
In a recent post on the r/SingaporeRaw subreddit, the man shared that his helper, who is from Indonesia and has been with the family for about four months, had gone against a household instruction that had been clearly stated from the beginning. According to him, she mixed her own laundry with the family’s clothes in the washing machine, despite being told from day one to keep them separate.
When questioned, the helper said she “thought she could,” which he felt was untrue. While she did apologise and promised not to repeat it, the incident left him with concerns about her trustworthiness.
He also noted that his family, including his wife and mother, had been experiencing intermittent stomach discomfort over the past few days. Although he couldn’t confirm the cause, he worried that it might be related to the food the helper had been preparing.
With a newborn in the household, the man said he felt particularly uneasy about the situation and was unsure whether these incidents pointed to a larger issue.
“I’m concerned this might be related to the cleanliness of the food she’s been preparing,” he wrote. “I’m particularly worried about her trustworthiness given what has happened. Has anyone experienced similar issues? Is my domestic helper a red flag? I’d be grateful for any thoughts or advice on how to handle the situation.”
“You are the red flag.”
Instead of backing his concerns, many Redditors were shocked by his expectations and felt his approach said more about him than the helper. Some pointed out that requiring the helper to wash her clothes separately made it seem like she was being treated as “unclean” or inferior to the rest of the household.
One Redditor said, “LOL. What’s with the washing clothes separately, leh she got so dirty ma. Anyway, best is you monitor her work at home and judge for yourself. If her cleanliness is an issue, then try and educate her first. If all else fail, return her lor since you think she’s unhygienic.”
Another commented, “I mean, legit how would you feel if you lived at someone’s house and told from the start to wash your clothes separately from the rest of the family? She must wonder what’s wrong with her. Sure, she’s a helper, but she’s also a human with feelings.”
A third wrote, “Just terminate the maid. If for her own good, not yours!!! She deserves a better employer…….and please do not hire another helper.”
A fourth added, “You are the red flag. You are the elitist pubor who crosses that very thin line from treating a helper like an employee VS treating a helper like a slave.”
Resolving issues with domestic helpers
In cases like this, the Ministry of Manpower suggests that employers talk openly and respectfully with their domestic helpers to sort out any issues, but if the problem seems more serious, especially if it has to do with health, safety, or possible wrongdoing, it’s better to report it to the right authorities.
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)
