SINGAPORE: One Singaporean daughter says she is at her breaking point after her 78-year-old mother continued to demand more money despite receiving S$1,900 from her every single month.
This begs the question: How much is a child supposed to give before a parent finally says, “Okay, you’ve done enough”?
The woman shared that she has played the role of the dutiful child for years, faithfully transferring a monthly allowance that covers the household basics. This includes home broadband, electricity bills, the family helper’s salary, and even her mother’s insurance premiums.
Even after losing her job, the daughter did not stop sending money. Instead of cutting back, she dipped into her savings to keep the monthly transfers going, determined to continue supporting her parents.
Unfortunately, it still was not enough.
According to the woman, her mother continues to complain that the allowance is insufficient. Matters worsened when the daughter revealed there would be no year-end bonus, prompting her mother to lash out with insults.
“She is constantly saying I do not give her enough and even came to ask for a share of my bonus, which I don’t have because I am jobless,” the daughter said.
“She only spends money on household stuff for my 84-year-old dad and helper, and she gets more allowance from my other siblings. So, I’m not sure why she is always asking for more.”
More children are complaining online
Sadly, stories like this seem to be popping up more and more in recent years. Many young Singaporeans are opening up online about the pressure they feel to financially support their parents, even when it is a huge strain on their own lives.
Take one 23-year-old, for example. She shared in a social media post that just two months after starting her first job, her mother began asking for 40 per cent of her salary.
In another case, a 21-year-old university student revealed that her father, who has no savings of his own, expects her to pay all household bills and hand over S$1,000 every month once she graduates. Stories like these have sparked outrage and sympathy across social media, with many people weighing in.
Some netizens were quick to advise these young adults to simply move out of their family homes to protect their mental health and financial independence.
One user on The Independent Singapore said, “Some parents are really unreasonable and toxic and are a source of great mental health threats.”
Should this practice end?
While giving parents a monthly allowance is often viewed as an expression of filial piety, many argue that the expectation no longer aligns with today’s realities.
Local YouTuber and financial commentator Mr Loo has spoken about this issue, urging parents to stop treating their children like “dividend stocks.”
“The cost of living is very, very high, especially for property. There is a lethal blow to the kids’ expenses,” he said. “I would suggest that for parents, please love your children enough to relieve them of this burden. Now if they give you something, it’s a bonus, right?”
Alternative options
For those who are unable to give financially, Mr Loo said that children can repay the sacrifices of their parents by taking them out for a meal or a holiday.
“Spend more time with your parents, especially when they are old,” he said. “Bring your children, who are their grandchildren, to see them. These acts are a lot more important than financial contribution.”
