SINGAPORE: A young woman has taken to social media to share her frustration after her parents told her she would “be struck by lightning” for failing to invite them on an overseas trip she had planned for herself.
Posting anonymously on the NUSWhispers Facebook page on Sunday (Dec 14), the daughter said she had long dreamed of travelling overseas and had spent years saving up and planning for a trip next year. She was especially excited to finally have the means to visit Europe and shared the news with her parents.
However, instead of celebrating with her, her parents became upset and questioned why they were not invited along. They went on to accuse her of being unfilial, telling her she would “be struck by lightning” for not showing filial piety. They also compared her to their friends’ children, claiming that others regularly brought their parents overseas and that they, too, were waiting for her to do the same.
Feeling guilty, the daughter said she eventually asked her parents if they would like to join her on the European trip.
“I asked them, ok, I’m going to Europe, do you want to join? And they turned that down, saying it is boring and they really want to visit China and are waiting for me to bring them both, all expenses covered,” she said.
Caught between conflicting expectations and her own wishes, the daughter shared her dilemma with netizens.
“I’m wondering if it is wrong for me not to take them to the destination they want?” she asked. “I do not have a lot of annual leave, and I just want to go travel somewhere I want while I can still walk. My parents only brought me to Indonesia once in primary school. Anyone else facing this issue, and should I just go ahead with my solo trip?”
She also questioned why her parents had never chosen to travel overseas earlier, such as when she was in junior college or university. “It’s not like they are poor or physically unable to go,” she said, adding that it felt as though they were waiting for her to bring them and treating it as her obligation.
In her post, the daughter shared more about her circumstances, saying she had graduated just last year and has been working for almost a year. While her pay is below the median, she said it is sufficient for her to get by. She also noted that she has been living independently since university and paid for her own school fees.
“This kind of guilt trip is the last thing a decent parent would do.”
In the comments section, many netizens rallied behind the daughter, voicing support for her decision to travel on her own and urging her not to give in to what they saw as emotional manipulation by her parents.
One commenter cautioned her against backing down, writing, “Do not succumb to emotional blackmail. If you relent this time, they will never stop. Go for your own trip, do not include them.”
Another echoed similar sentiments, saying, “You’re not your parents’ retirement plan and travel agent. If you don’t bring them, they are going to gaslight you and compare you to others. If you bring them now, they’re going to use it to demand more and still compare you to others.”
A third netizen was especially blunt, arguing that the daughter did not owe her parents anything. “This kind of guilt trip is the last thing a decent parent would do,” the commenter wrote, adding that they were a parent themselves with a child in NUS.
“If anything, I would sponsor a trip with my child after he graduates to any destination he’d like in the world, just like my dad did when I graduated. Our children did not ask to be brought into the world.”
Others, however, offered more balanced views. While they agreed that she should proceed with her solo trip, they suggested she could consider planning a separate holiday with her parents at a later time.
They pointed out that her parents would not be around forever and that travelling with them while they were still alive might be something she would appreciate later on.
One netizen shared, “Even though I don’t fancy going to China, if my late mum wanted to go, I would be more than happy to book a trip and accompany her there.”
In other news, a man has sparked online backlash after claiming that Singaporean women treat men as “second-class citizens” and always expect them to foot the bill on dates.
In a post on the r/SingaporeRaw subreddit, he argued rather passionately that women, who do not serve National Service (NS) or participate in reservist duties like men, should take on responsibilities “more fairly in life” rather than manipulate, act entitled, or treat men as default providers.
