SINGAPORE: A young woman battling an eating disorder says she was left devastated after her boyfriend, who had once urged her to eat more healthily, ended their relationship and told her with a “straight face” that she was “too fat.”
Detailing their relationship and breakup in a post on r/SGexams on Saturday (Oct 4), the woman revealed that she had a crush on her ex for four years and that they had been in the “talking stage” for two years before officially becoming a couple in February this year.
During those two years, she said, he had been incredibly supportive. He made her “feel good” about herself, checked in during break times to make sure she ate, and encouraged her to maintain a regular eating schedule.
“I felt motivated to eat at least 2 meals a day,” she wrote, adding that his concern had initially helped her rebuild a healthier relationship with food.
For months, she stuck to this routine. When they first started talking, the woman said she stood at 170 cm and weighed just 40 kg — severely underweight. But through his encouragement and her effort to recover, her weight gradually increased to 62 kg.
“He looked genuinely happy when I put on some weight, and I felt so much better in my own skin,” she said. “And after becoming official in February, I can confidently say that it was a healthy and loving relationship. He’d buy me flowers, call me for 2 hours before sleeping, and find me during every break.”
However, in June, just as she was beginning to feel confident about herself, her boyfriend began to pull away.
According to her, he stopped initiating outings and no longer reminded her to eat, almost as if “he was drifting away.”
Then, just recently, her ex ended their relationship without a warning. “We were going home together before he dropped the bombshell on me…he said he wanted to break up. Of course, I was immediately taken aback and asked him why. He said, AND I QUOTE, ‘You’re not attractive to me anymore.’
“I was crying at that point and coughed up why again. With a straight face, he told me I was too fat.
“I wish I were joking. My world literally crumbled.”
Since that day, the woman said she hasn’t left her room and has barely eaten. “I only drank milk when my stomach couldn’t handle the pain anymore. Nothing could compare to the pain in my heart, though. I think I cried out all the liquid in me.”
Heartbroken and desperate for answers, she asked other locals in the forum: “I want to know, will he love me again if I lose weight? Am I that fat? Since young, my mom never failed to call me fat and ugly and worthless. When I think back at it, I just know this is what escalated my ED.”
“I don’t want to sound pathetic, but I can’t control it. There’s so many questions left unanswered in my head, and I just don’t know what to do anymore.”
“Your ex is the stupid one, and also he’s disrespectful.”
In the comments, many Singaporean Redditors were furious at the woman’s ex-boyfriend, with some calling him “a piece of turd” and “a walking red flag” who didn’t deserve her love.
One user wrote passionately, “HE IS AN EXTREMELY TERRIBLE PERSON for leaving you. Please, I beg of you—he is a red flag. You do not and should never ever deserve these kinds of people in your life.”
Another chimed in to reassure the woman of her self-worth, saying, “Let me say it to you: You are NOT fat. Your ex is the stupid one. Also, he’s disrespectful. This is not the end of the world, you still have lots of time to get a new bf.”
A third said, “I know it is cliché, but the right guy is someone who accepts you for who you are. You should not have to diet because of a guy or become another person because of him. Imagine spending the rest of your life doing that?”
A fourth commented, “I’m sorry for the loss of such an important support pillar in your life, someone who made you feel like you were worth something. I think you really need to see a mental health professional, rather than ask Reddit for help. You are worthy of love, and I hope it doesn’t take destroying your body to realise that!”
Where to seek help
The Institute of Mental Health (IMH) encourages anyone struggling with food, body image, or unhealthy eating habits to seek professional help. You can reach out to CHAT, which offers free and confidential mental health checks for individuals aged 16 to 30 living in Singapore.
Alternatively, support is also available through the Singapore General Hospital (SGH) Eating Disorders Programme, which provides specialised care for people dealing with conditions such as anorexia, bulimia, and binge-eating disorder.
Read also: ‘They behave like kids’: Woman says all her male exes treated her like a mum not a GF
