SINGAPORE: A Singaporean woman recently shared on Reddit that her husband has been guilt-tripping her for not paying her share of the household expenses for the past six months.
In her post, she explained that after she left her toxic job in February 2023 to prioritize her mental health, she used her ‘five-digit savings’ and CPF to cover her share of the expenses, which was 40% of the household bills and groceries.
Unfortunately, her financial cushion ran out six months ago, leaving her husband to bear the entire financial burden.
She confessed that this sudden shift in their financial situation has put significant strain on their marriage, with her husband frequently voicing his frustrations. “He would always bring up that I promise to pay my share of house when we get together and always complain that he is working hard for the family every time we fight,” she said.
“He makes me feel useless and worthless.”
She also mentioned that she’s been actively looking for work for months, but the only offer she received was from a company with a toxic work environment.
“The place and organisation was a mess. The boss was badmouthing about the current employee they plan for me to take over, during the interview. They expect me to reply messages at night and don’t expect me to leave on time,” she explained.
“There were a lot of red flags. Also the place is old and furnishing are either old or not in good condition.”
She then asked the online community, “If you were me, what would you do? Your savings running out and your husband keeps mentioning about money in every arguments. You are feeling worthless. You are also sending out resumes but didn’t get much response.
I feel like I have to do the wrong things to get money fast just to shut husband up.”
“Perhaps you can work part time while seeking full time employment.”
In the comments section, a few Singaporean Redditors urged her to see things from her husband’s point of view.
One Redditor expressed, “I find the comment ‘getting a job just to shut your husband up’ very offensive. Your husband may not earn much, but he’s doing his best. You keep mentioning that the workplace is toxic, but you also left your previous job for the same reason.
“I find myself wondering if you might be the problem. If the roles were reversed and he quit his job due to mental health issues and toxicity, and was unable to take care of you and the baby, would you still tell him that mental health is the most important thing?”
Another Redditor asked her, “Before you quit, did you speak to your husband about not having another job lined up? If you had previously promised to pay for your share of the house, was there an agreement then that he will help to take over your portion while you search for your next job?
“If you had, perchance, quit without discussing things over with him – it is an unfair situation for him and you have to acknowledge that.”
Meanwhile, others suggested alternative ways for her to support her husband. One Redditor recommended, “No point taking that job because you’d probably quit in less than a month. Just take up part-time work first while looking for a perm job. So many part-time FnB and events jobs out there that need people. Even Tori-Q pays $12/hr and even $14/HR on weekends.
Another Redditor added, “I would rather work in McDonald than join a company that is a mess. If your hubby have certain expectations, perhaps you can work part time while seeking full-time employment. Doing something is better than nothing.”
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