SINGAPORE: A foreign woman has turned to social media for advice after realising that the Singaporean man she has been seeing for three years may not be as emotionally or practically invested in their relationship as she is.
In a post on the r/sgdatingscene Reddit forum on Tuesday (Jan 6), the woman shared that the imbalance has become increasingly difficult to ignore. Whenever they go out together, expenses are typically split “50/50,” and on some occasions, she ends up paying entirely.
Over the course of their three-year relationship, she added, he has never bought her gifts.
Beyond financial matters, the woman said the emotional connection between them feels almost non-existent.
According to her, the man rarely calls and prefers to communicate through text messages. More troubling for her is the lack of meaningful interaction. She claimed that in all the years they have been together, he has never opened up about anything personal.
“Never in our three years did he initiate deep talks,” she wrote.
Adding to her frustration, she said that her partner never formally asked her to be his girlfriend, yet insists that they are in a relationship.
“He said we are in a relationship,” she wrote. “[And he also] never breaks up with me, but I’m tired of this cycle.”
Feeling stuck and somehow unsure whether she is overreacting, the woman turned to the online community for perspective, hoping that others, particularly locals familiar with Singapore’s dating culture, could help her make sense of the situation.
“You deserve so much better.”
Under the post, many commenters were quick to point out that what she described sounded less like a committed relationship and more like a “situationship.”
One Singaporean Redditor wrote, “This is called a situationship, where you don’t know what is happening, whether you are GF/BF or nothing but something. This confused state is what you should ideally avoid.”
They also advised her to leave the relationship and give herself time to heal, adding, “Just take it as a lesson learnt and that when a guy loves you, you will never be confused. He will make sure of it.”
Another echoed this sentiment, writing, “Have you and he talked about future together? Like getting married, having kids, and so on? If none of that has come up in three years, I think you should end it. What really surprised me is why you were the one paying when you went out with him. You deserve so much better.”
A third commenter suggested that she communicate her concerns directly to her partner, saying: “I think it’s better to have a talk with him (since you have been going out very frequently) and discuss the relationship between the two of you.”
They added, “If he didn’t realise that the past three years have been just pure companionship and friendship, I’m sorry to say, but you are not in the right relationship. Yes, he did say you two are in a relationship, but where is the effort if you are the only one initiating (and worse, paying for him) and he doesn’t give a crap?”
In other news, a 21-year-old full-time National Serviceman (NSF) has sought advice on Reddit after learning that his household may soon be forced to survive on a single income, as his father prepares to quit his job amid rising costs and declining health.
In a post that has since sparked discussion online, the NSF said his 60-year-old father plans to resign in March.
“My dad’s total pay with CPF is about S$4200, but he will soon be resigning from his job in March, as he will no longer have a personal vehicle for work, as it is no longer financially viable to afford it.”
Read more: 21 y/o NSF with S$30k savings anxious as father, 60, quits job and mother becomes sole breadwinner
