SINGAPORE: A young man has opened up online about the growing resentment he feels towards his parents, saying years of unequal treatment have started to take a toll on him.
In a post on the r/SGexams forum, he explained that since he began working two years ago, his parents have repeatedly borrowed money from him. At the same time, he says they continue to spend more freely on his two siblings, giving them higher allowances and buying them expensive gifts.
“Mind you, it racked up to more than S$3k, and every time I tried to ask them back for it, my dad would start getting angry and question my trust towards him by saying, ‘Are you scared that I won’t return it back to you?’”
“It got to a point where my current bank balance was less than my initial amount when I first opened it.”
Beyond the financial strain, he also feels that he has been treated more strictly compared to his siblings. For instance, while his older sister was allowed to travel to multiple countries, he was only permitted to go on a trip to Malaysia.
Reflecting on his upbringing, he said his father also frequently emphasised that the family did not have much money. As a result, he was pushed to work hard academically and become self-reliant from a young age. He did not receive tuition support and was held to stricter standards.
At the time, he accepted these conditions without much question. However, his perspective began to change after entering junior college, where he was exposed to peers from more affluent backgrounds.
Seeing classmates who lived in landed properties or condominiums, travelled overseas frequently, and did not appear to share the same financial concerns made him increasingly aware of the differences in their lifestyles. Over time, he said these comparisons began to weigh on him.
“All these small little details really added up and really made me resent them so much,” he wrote. “And I’ve thought about it, if they weren’t really financially stable, why even have that many kids or even have kids in the first place?
While he acknowledges he cannot change the past, he says he hopes his parents will repay the money they borrowed. That way, he can finally use his own earnings to travel the world and build his own future.
“I really want to explore the world with my cash, and I don’t want to see their faces. I’m sorry if I came off as entitled or ungrateful, but this is how I truly feel about them.”
“Talk to them if you are uncomfortable with something.”
In response to the post, one Singaporean Redditor reassured the young man that he was not being entitled. “I don’t think you’re entitled. You’re simply longing for the life you wished you had when you see others in similar situations, and that is perfectly normal,” they said.
Another Redditor warned him to be cautious about sharing financial information with his parents in the future. “Make sure you keep your bank account access away from your parents’ control. Never tell your parents how much you earn or how much money you have. Understate the amount if they insist,” they advised.
A third added, “I wouldn’t be too optimistic about getting your money back. You can probably write it off as repaying your living expenses. Did they say what the money they borrowed was for? If it arises next time, it’s probably good to rope in your older sis and discuss it together.”
Others, meanwhile, encouraged the young man to confront his parents directly about his concerns.
“Talk to them if you are uncomfortable with something, and speak clearly and not with anger,” one wrote. “If they aren’t as dysfunctional as I think they would be, I’m sure they will listen. People come and go, but we only ever have two parents.”
In other news, a local man took to social media to share that the woman he’s dated for just one month expects him to pay for everything.
On Monday (Mar 2), he posted on the r/sgdatingscene forum, explaining that although “they hit it off right away,” he’s been hesitating to take things to the next level because this woman wants the “ultimate princess right off the bat.”
