SINGAPORE: A Singaporean woman has shared online that she feels like she’s slowly losing her mind having to keep living in the same flat as her husband, who she’s already separated from but isn’t officially divorced from yet, all because of paperwork, finances, and the Minimum Occupation Period (MOP).
Posting on the r/askSingapore subreddit on Tuesday (Feb 10), the woman admitted that she has, quite simply, “lost love” for her husband and no longer sees any kind of future with him.
The problem, however, is that the couple still has about three years to go before their flat reaches MOP. On top of that, neither she nor her husband can afford to move out because of the loans they are jointly servicing.
“I feel like soon I will go insane waiting for my freedom,” she said. “I feel like I am unable to do things like a single person would just because I am still married.”
“Like if I were to ever meet someone new one day, will I be accused of cheating by people around me who don’t know what’s going on in my marriage? I do want children of my own, but with the situation I’m in, I will have to wait a few years at least.”
The woman added that she has been trying to stay sane by throwing herself into workouts, planning trips, and focusing on work. Unfortunately, no matter how packed her schedule is, she still ends most days feeling hollow and stuck.
The situation has also turned her social life into a minefield. She shared that she has been actively avoiding friends and family because she has no idea how to answer the inevitable question of why her husband never shows up at gatherings.
“Only 3 people in my life are aware and I feel like a bother every time I need someone to talk to.”
Although she acknowledged that some days are especially difficult when they are both at home, she noted that their relationship remains relatively amicable.
“Thankfully, we are still somewhat amicable as he is a nice person and I still see him as a good friend who supports me work wise since we work in the same field,” she wrote.
Turning to the internet for wisdom and moral support, she asked, “To those who waited for MOP before divorcing, how did you stay sane? Would love to hear from anyone who went through or is going through this. Thanks!”
“Talk over the ground rules with him.”
In the comments, many Singaporeans jumped in to offer their thoughts and advice. Several suggested that if the marriage is truly over, it’s a good idea to have a formal separation agreement in place.
One wrote, “Just make it clear that you are getting a divorce? Maybe get some paperwork done to show you are already in the process, and make it clear to whoever you want to date.”
Another added, “If both are sure this is the end of the marriage, get a separation agreement in place. Have it mutually agreed upon that both parties will live separate lives and have the option to date. Only date or move forward if you are sure that it is the end of your marriage!”
Meanwhile, others shared a few practical tips for managing day-to-day life during this transition.
One shared, “3 years is a damn long time. If you have minimally 2 bedrooms, I would just have an arrangement with the husband to live separate lives like housemates and lay down ground rules for dating others.”
“I have a friend who is in your situation, but she met someone new and got a job overseas, so now she’s living out of SG while waiting for her MOP. She is still legally married to the “ex.” From what I know, he also has a new girlfriend and is living in the house (paying the mortgage on his own).”
Another added, “Look, you’re both adults. This doesn’t have to be a prison sentence. Talk over the ground rules with him, especially how to break it to family (I’m assuming it’s the same for him).”
“Being upfront with family is important because they will be affected too. Then live your own life. If the important people in your life know, the rest don’t matter.”
In other news, a Singaporean employee took to social media to vent their frustration after receiving a gold-plated coin as an “appreciation gift” from their boss, saying the item was essentially useless because it could not even buy a simple plate of “cai png.”
In a post on a local Reddit forum, the employee explained that while they appreciated the gesture, the gift itself left much to be desired. Gold-plated coins and gold foil notes, they argued, are little more than decorative items masquerading as something valuable.
