SINGAPORE: After finding out that her date had secured a two-room Flexi HDB flat, one woman said she hit the brakes and began questioning whether she should continue pursuing the relationship.
In a post on the r/sgdatingscene forum on Thursday (Feb 5), the woman explained that she had genuinely clicked with the man and that things between them were starting to feel serious.
However, her doubts surfaced after he revealed that he had obtained a two-room Flexi flat primarily as a financial move, with the intention of profiting from it later.
“He shared that he’s at the ceiling, and a year later he wouldn’t be eligible if he had missed the last cycle, sharing that housing was really expensive, with the hopes of making a pot of money when reselling to get a bigger house later on,” the woman said.
While she understood his reasoning, the long-term implications of his decision continued to weigh on her. She said that if they were to get legally married someday, they would no longer be eligible for a BTO or a three-room or larger HDB flat, and would instead be tied to his two-room Flexi unit for at least five years or more.
She added that while a possible workaround could be temporarily staying at either his parents’ place or hers, this arrangement made her uncomfortable. “This gives lack of privacy, a honeymoon period and potentially having kids,” she said.
Despite her concerns, the woman acknowledged that everything else about her date seemed promising. She described him as “earnest,” with a “progressive career,” and said she could understand his perspective since she herself was getting older and had also been paying close attention to the housing market.
Even so, she admitted she would have preferred to make a joint decision with her future partner.
“I would’ve really preferred to buy resale or SBF (Sale of Balance flats) with my future partner. Like at least I have a say/choice in wanting a bigger space and preferred location,” she wrote.
“On one end, I’ll be ‘handicapped’ due to his housing decision for 5 years+ if all goes well. On the other end, if I were to let him go due to his housing decision, I might be losing a decent potential partner, gotta be real, the dating pool kinda sucks.”
Turning to other women for advice, she asked, “Sisters, what would you do? Is it a red flag if you find out your date has gotten a 2-room flexi HDB? ”
“How is this a red flag?”
In the comments, many users were appalled that the woman would view the man’s housing decision, one he made before even meeting her, as a red flag. Some argued that if anything, she was the red flag in the situation, not him.
One commenter wrote, “Guy makes a calculated decision and gets his own house before you two even knew each other, and you think that you have a say? I’m smelling entitlement here.”
“If you seriously think that what he did is a red flag, please please please just let the guy go. Go find someone who is waiting for you to get married to and get a BTO together.”
Another said, “Female here. Erm, how is this a red flag?? In fact, it’s a smart decision. He clearly knew he wouldn’t be able to get it later on because of the income ceiling.”
A third added, “Man buys his own house = red flag? WTF LOL.”
Others, however, said they could understand where the woman was coming from. One commenter noted, “Singles who buy two-room Flexi BTOs instead of a condo aren’t making a wise financial decision, because that’s wasting a BTO chance on a two-room Flexi.”
Another shared his personal experience, writing, “Guy here. I was told by ladies that having a two-room Flexi or resale HDB when you turn 35 is a red flag. I just agreed with them and moved on. They’d rather have someone they can BTO with. That’s what I know.”
In other news, a local man has taken to Reddit’s Ask Singapore forum to ask whether he was wrong to reduce the allowance he gives his parents after moving out of the family home.
For context, he explained that while living under their roof, he had been responsible for nearly all household expenses. “I paid rent, food, and other expenses, and I wasn’t being calculative—but I gave every cent I could afford,” he said.
