SINGAPORE: A woman has sparked discussion online after asking what men really think about girls spending money on them, especially in the early stages of dating.
In a recent post, she shared that she has been seeing a man who is currently struggling financially. According to her, he is dealing with “family debt,” recovering from a breakup after being cheated on, and does not have a “stable income” at the moment.
Feeling sympathetic toward his situation, she began covering “his meals” and even paying for “his driving course.” Since January, she estimates she has spent about $1,400 on him.
While she said she hopes to build a serious relationship with him, she is now unsure if her financial support is helping or making things worse. She admitted that she worries her actions might be adding pressure on him instead of easing his burden.
“What do you guys think about girls spending money on you?” she asked.
“Reciprocity is the key.”
In the discussion thread, Singaporean Redditors debated whether the woman should continue paying for everything or if it would be better to go Dutch.
Some users felt supporting him financially could be fine under the right circumstances. One commented that if the man treats her well and is genuinely interested, helping him out should be acceptable.
Another shared that he personally doesn’t mind when his partner pays, citing his own experience: “It feels great. My wife spent S$800 to tune my car and I cannot be happier.”
A third wrote that if his partner did this for him, he would appreciate it.
He added, “I will be thankful. I cannot and will not stop my partner from loving me the way she is comfortable with as long as it is not detrimental to her, to me, and to the relationship. She is being nice to me, and I won’t want to put her through the extra effort to beg me to accept/explain why she is doing so.”
A fourth added, “Can’t relate as it never happened before. But I would probably enjoy it.”
Others, however, cautioned the woman against spending all her money or doing so purely out of pity. Some suggested that splitting costs or going Dutch might be a healthier approach.
One user explained, “The moment you pity a guy, it’s the moment that you lose. It’s good that you’re empathetic to his unfortunate situation, but empathy without boundaries is self-destruction and self-abandonment. If a guy is really interested in you, he’d clear his debt and work on himself first, instead of making use of you to sponsor him.”
Another remarked, “Reciprocity is the key.”
A third advised, “S$1.4k is quite a sizable sum, and I would be wary if I were you that he isn’t some scammer who’s just baiting you into a larger payout (like some made-up medical emergency) only to then disappear once you give him the cash. Please be sure to check on yourself from time to time.”
In other news, a passenger took to social media to share that a Grab driver deliberately delayed arriving at the designated pickup point to charge her a S$5 waiting fee.
In a post on a local online forum, the passenger explained that she booked a Grab Premium ride because she was travelling with her baby and a stroller pram.
Read more: Passenger alleges Grab driver deliberately delayed arrival to collect S$5 waiting fee
