Salary Talk in Dating and Friendships: Why Some Singaporeans Say Don’t Go There

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Is talking openly about your salary really a bad idea? A Singaporean netizen has ignited debate online after asking why sharing one’s income with friends or potential partners is often frowned upon, despite believing it can be helpful and even motivating.

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“Why is it that people always against sharing salary with your friends or potential girlfriend?” asked u/Masakaki_C_jpeg on r/askSingapore on Monday morning (Sept 18). He explained that “for me, it can serve as a motivation to look for better opportunities, or at least, a wake-up call that an employee is getting shortchanged.”

“As for the potential partners or at early dating stage, if the other party did not ask for the salary intentionally (and they state that you can don’t disclose if you are not comfortable) but rather was talking about topic related to finance and they pop a question about your salary, if you are comfortable with revealing, is it a bad idea to reveal?” he asked further.

On a personal level, he himself has revealed his pay to others, and they’ve discussed how they can ask for better pay packages.

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“Just curious to know the rationale behind the taboo around this? Maybe I am lucky to met all the open-minded people. Just want to have a complete view of what I might potentially missed.”

Another Reddit user agreed that sharing your salary is not negative, but only when a relationship is more mature, and not at the beginning stages.

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However, another warned, “It’s acceptable to share only when you’re on the same level as your peers or even worse off. Once you’re way ahead of them and you start sharing, all the negativity will surface.”

Screenshot 2023 09 18 at 12.31.54 PMAnother agreed, writing, “People get jealous easily if your salary is higher than them. I Wouldn’t risk the friendship or bring unnecessary drama to myself. I would only tell my partner and my mom.”

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“My circle of friends doesn’t feel salty or jealousy with each other’s pay. We feel happy for them. We don’t live beyond our means as well,” contributed a commenter.

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A netizen offered this advice: “Share with people you can trust. Because such information can be utilized by anyone. If anyone knows how much you earn, they can exploit that info by either asking you for loans or higher allowance (Family members like parents when they retire and you are asked to give them money on a timely basis). That’s why other ppl aren’t willing to share salary numbers.”

Screenshot 2023 09 18 at 12.33.58 PM

/TISG

Singaporeans say S$2K monthly salary is considered poor





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