SINGAPORE: A man has come under fire online after admitting in a Reddit post that he feels embarrassed by his parents, whom he said have “low SES lifestyle habits.”
Posting on the r/asksg forum on Wednesday (Feb 25), he shared that his parents are in their late 50s and grew up in a financially struggling household with little formal education.
His grandparents, he added, were completely illiterate. He believes that background shaped behaviours that now leave him feeling uneasy and, at times, mortified in social settings.
“They have many unsavoury habits that might not be well accepted in certain social settings,” he said. For example, the son wrote that his parents have an “outdated mindset about how the world works in general, be it on LGBT rights, finances, the economy, etc.,” dress poorly when guests are around, and tend to “hoard” a lot of things.
“This is the main reason why I never wanted to invite any friends or partners over,” he said.
“There are all sorts of containers scattered around in the house, as they find it wasteful to throw things away.
Also, there are many times when my dad will be topless when I have guests over, or be clad in a worn-out singlet with shorts while crashing on the sofa in an unglamorous pose.”
He also mentioned that his parents “frown” when guests flush the toilet after every use or wash their hands freely. “They insist that the used water collected in plastic pails from the laundry machine be used for flushing instead.”
He added that they are quick to switch off lights and electrical appliances even if someone has only stepped out of a room briefly. There have been instances, he said, where he and his guests returned within minutes to find everything turned off, which he claimed amused his friends and former partners.
According to him, they are also not fluent in any one language and tend to mix Singlish and Hokkien in conversation, frequently inserting fillers such as “hor” into nearly every sentence.
“Every time someone from my life comes in contact with my parents, it just feels like their impression of me has taken a huge discount, thanks to how my parents carry themselves in front of others,” he wrote.
“While I know it’s not fair to blame them, I can’t help but feel that they should not come in contact with my social circle.”
The man went on to share that despite growing up with limited resources, he did well in the education system, got into branded schools, clinched a scholarship that covered his university tuition, and was eventually employed by the organisation that offered him the scholarship.
Throughout his childhood, he said he attempted to share the knowledge he obtained to expand his parents’ horizons, but none of these efforts has borne fruit. “While I understand that it is unfair for me to judge them, as they might be limited by their circumstances, I can’t help but feel that we are not on the same wavelength on every single aspect of life.”
“Am I wrong to feel that my parents are an embarrassment?” he asked others.
“I’ll be terribly heartbroken if you were my child.”
The post received a flood of downvotes on the platform. A large number of people felt that his perspective was unfair and lacking in empathy, and they did not hold back in saying so.
One commenter told him that feeling embarrassed by his parents was not right.
“Bro, it’s really not right to feel embarrassed about them. You and your parents grew up in completely different versions of Singapore. You had access to education, opportunities, and exposure they never did. That gap isn’t a reflection of their worth and it’s just different life circumstances.”
Another said the post was painful to read from a parent’s perspective.
“I’ll be terribly heartbroken if you were my child. I don’t have the full context, but your parents probably gave you the stability and security to focus and excel at your studies with their limited resources (and likely at their own expense).”
A third reminded him, “You don’t know what they sacrificed to get you to where you are now, including your worldview and day-to-day mannerisms. Give them some leeway.”
A fourth added, “It’s understandable that you feel this way, but I have to be honest: if I visited you at your place, and I witnessed your discomfort with your parents, I WOULD think less of you. I’d admire your parents a bit more.”
Still, despite the strong backlash, a few users said they understood where he was coming from.
One wrote, “I am fully with you on this and find this relatable. Growing up, I thought things would get better, but eventually they got worse. I find my parents so embarrassing and would not want to bring my friends to my house or introduce my partner to them. Not sure why there are so many downvotes but your feelings are valid.”
In other news, a 28-year-old man is starting over financially after a difficult chain of events in 2025 completely wiped out his S$100,000 savings.
In a candid post on the r/singaporefi forum, he shared how quickly things spiralled. Within the span of a year, he lost his job, saw a business he had invested significant time and effort into collapse, and was hit with mounting medical bills.
Read more: 28 y/o man starts over after losing S$100k savings in 2025: ‘I’m hitting a financial reset’
