SINGAPORE: Despite being financially secure and living what many would call a “good life,” one man shared on Reddit that he still feels completely unmotivated because he has “no girlfriend.”
Posting on a local forum on Thursday (Oct 23), the 28-year-old Singaporean wrote that perhaps the only joy he finds in life these days is eating whatever he wants for dinner, without needing to look at the price since he has plenty of disposable income.
Other than that, he admitted that most of his days are spent “feeling sad and unmotivated while sitting in the office.”
He also said that whenever a new task lands on his desk, he instantly feels “irritated,” as if the smallest demand only adds to the weight he’s already carrying.
“[I know]I should be grateful because the job market outside is tough and many are jobless. That’s what I tell myself every day: be grateful for what I currently have. It is my way of coping also,” he said.
“But no matter what, I still can’t help but feel depressed not having a girlfriend. I just feel like I have nothing to look forward to in life, and I feel empty and bored.”
“Learn how to love yourself before learning to love another.”
In the comments section, most Singaporean Redditors told the man that finding a girlfriend would not fix his problems.
One wrote, “I’m quite positive that if you aren’t happy by yourself, having another person is not going to fix that…”
Another shared, “My ex-boyfriend was this kind of guy and dumped me when depression got him. Please be happy by yourself before dating.”
A third, meanwhile, advised him to take some time to reflect on what motivates him and suggested seeking help from a career coach or therapist. They also recommended “planning some things to look forward to, like an overseas trip,” and adding exercise to his routine.
“Go to the gym and take up exercise,” they wrote. “It does so much to put you in a better state of mind.”
A fourth added, “First learn how to love yourself before learning to love another. What if it doesn’t work out? You’re going to be back on this sub saying, ‘I broke up with my girlfriend, and I have no motivation to work.’”
“I can’t speak for women, but as a guy, I think confidence, humour, and ambition to better yourself will attract the opposite sex. Finding a significant other is indeed important, but finding the wrong one can make your life a living hell.”
Seeking help
For anyone struggling with depression, it is important to remember that help is always available and that seeking support is a sign of strength.
You do not have to go through it alone, as there are professionals and trained volunteers ready to listen and provide assistance. In Singapore, you can contact one of the following helplines: Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) at 1767, Silver Ribbon Singapore at 6386-1928, or the Institute of Mental Health at 6389-2222.
