SINGAPORE: Amor vincit omnia, or “love conquers all”, is a famous phrase from the Roman poet Virgil. At its core, it means that love has the power to endure and triumph over life’s trials and uncertainties.
It is a romantic idea that has been passed down for generations, quoted in books, movies, and probably a fair number of wedding speeches. But does it still hold up today?
With hawker meals costing about $7, monthly rent between $700 and $1,500, and the average single person in Singapore spending roughly $1,200 to $1,500 monthly just to make ends meet, is love truly enough to sustain a relationship?
For one 20-year-old woman from Singapore, the answer seems to be yes.
In a post shared on a local forum on Sunday (Feb 1), she wrote about her boyfriend, who is two years older than her and currently in National Service. While he may not have everything figured out yet, she believes he is trying, and that effort matters to her.
After his ORD, she said he plans to work while studying part-time for a diploma. “To me, that shows effort and responsibility,” she wrote. She shared that she could see his determination and his willingness to persevere and build a better life for himself.
Her parents, however, see the situation very differently.
Shortly after meeting him, they told her that although “he’s a nice guy”, she should keep her options open since she is still young.
The message, she felt, was clear enough. “My traditional SG parents disapprove of my boyfriend. Their concern isn’t his character, but money and future stability,” she said. “They keep saying love isn’t enough and that I should be more practical. Some comparisons were made that felt very class-based and honestly quite hurtful.”
What left her even more confused was the irony of it all. She admitted that she is not particularly academic and might not even make it into university, yet her parents continue to urge her to aim for someone who looks “better on paper”.
“It feels strange,” she said. “I’ve been heartbroken a few times before and didn’t rush into this relationship. This is the first time I feel genuinely comfortable and understood, which is why I don’t want to just let it go.”
“Love alone can’t sustain a relationship.”
Acknowledging just how tough it has become to get by in today’s economy, many local users found themselves agreeing with her parents’ point of view.
Some said that while it may feel harsh now, she might eventually come to understand where they are coming from as she grows older and gains more life experience.
One told her, “What do you think is the thought process of your parents when they say such things? Perhaps you are their only daughter, and they wish the best (financially comfortable?) life for you? Or maybe they struggled building a family themselves and hoped you could have an easier time?”
Another user shared a more personal story, saying they had once been in her shoes. “My parents told me the exact same thing when I was your age,” they wrote.
“Of course I didn’t agree and then I felt like they were too practical and judgemental. I’m now close to 30 and along the way, I realised my parents were right all along. Looking back, they have probably seen certain red-flag traits of my exes that I couldn’t see past my rose-tinted glasses. And for the practical comment they made—it’s true. Love alone can’t sustain a relationship.”
A third said, “I think the most important thing is, do you trust that he would do what he says? Actions are a lot more important than words. The ones who manage to become more successful after NS, regardless of whether they have education or not, are the ones who took action.”
A fourth, meanwhile, encouraged her to trust her own judgment. “If you are certain your man is good, just carry on and stand by him,” they said. “Be the woman who is there during thick and thin. Motivate him to do well in life, and build an empire together.”
In other news, a woman has drawn attention online after sharing her discomfort with certain private-hire vehicle (PHV) drivers, alleging that they repeatedly ask intrusive personal questions and make her uneasy during rides by staring at her through the rearview mirror.
“It really grinds my gears,” she said. “They would ask intrusive personal questions such as, ‘Do you have a bf?’, ‘Wow, wear until so nice, go bf house ah?’, ‘You staying here alone or with family?’, and ‘Wah go shopping with bf ah?’”
