SINGAPORE: A woman has sparked conversation on Reddit after sharing that she found herself struggling to warm up to a man she met online because of the way he texts.
Posting on the r/sgdatingscene forum, the woman explained that his frequent use of Singlish and informal grammar made their conversations feel “too casual” for her personal preference.
“I personally don’t really like it when a guy uses a lot of singlish or improper grammar when texting because it just feels too informal and casual,” she said. “I rarely use such a texting style even with close friends… So it’s kind of a personal turn off…”
She also mentioned that the man tends to send long stretches of messages about himself, particularly when discussing investments. According to her, these messages can sometimes come in batches of “10 to 20 messages at one go,” which left her feeling slightly overwhelmed rather than engaged.
While she acknowledged that he seemed like a nice person, the woman said she did not feel particularly compatible with him and noted that his history of several short-term relationships added to her hesitation.
“I just don’t feel very compatible with him,” she admitted, stressing that it was more about personal fit than anything he had done wrong.
Turning to fellow Redditors for advice, the woman asked, “How to turn down someone? I’m really scared of what guys will do when rejected… So I tend to ghost them. Any advice?”
“Just honestly tell him you’re not compatible.”
Redditors were quick to jump in with advice, and the suggestions ranged from practical to a bit cheeky.
Many said the simplest approach was just to be honest and upfront, pointing out that if he couldn’t take it gracefully, then he probably wasn’t the right match anyway.
Others recommended being polite but firm, letting him know there wasn’t a connection and that she wasn’t interested in pursuing things further.
One individual suggested, “Just tell him, ‘Thank you for your interest. I enjoyed talking to you and was extremely flattered by your interest. I don’t think we’re a good match. All the best.”
Another wrote, “You could turn him down, or he could turn you down. e.g., tell him that he wrote too long and he uses Singlish too much. Afterward, if he still sends you long messages, say, ‘I’m not reading all that.’ If he sends a short message, proceed to correct his grammar or wrong words. If there is nothing wrong with the messages, just play dumb and say ‘Sounds boring,’ or ‘Did you use GPT to write that?’”
A third added, “Just honestly tell him you’re not compatible and he should move onto someone else. Kindly explain that his way of communicating and constant mentioning of himself, as well as investments, is not what you seek in a partner. Sometimes the other person might never realise their flaws until someone else highlights them.”
In other news, questions over the legitimacy of service charges have resurfaced online after a diner called out a restaurant for imposing the fee despite offering little to minimal table service.
In a post shared on the r/askSingapore subreddit on Thursday (Jan 1), the diner recounted a lunchtime visit to a well-known Korean fried chicken chain, where they observed another customer requesting an empty bowl from a waiter shortly after being seated.
According to the diner, the waiter responded by pointing towards a “Self Service Station,” signalling for the customer to retrieve the item on their own.
Read more: ‘Felt cheated on’: Diner calls out restaurant for charging service fee despite self-service setup
