SINGAPORE: A Singaporean woman took to Reddit to ask locals whether it is normal for her boyfriend to treat NS as his go-to excuse for not being emotionally present whenever they try to have a proper conversation.
Writing on the r/NationalServiceSG subreddit on Friday (Nov 21), she shared that whenever she brings up something serious, whether it is a death in the family, her own health concerns, or ongoing issues at home, her boyfriend somehow manages to steer the entire discussion back to how utterly drained he is from camp.
“He always ‘makes it sound’ like he already has enough going on during NS, that’s why he can’t be bothered to care about my needs,” she wrote. “It’s just the way it sounds to me.. if NS is that hard on him, then why still give me issues when I’m going through my own problems?”
She said she understands NS can be physically and mentally exhausting, especially for stay-ins, but she is starting to wonder if expecting even a basic level of emotional support is too much to ask. She is also unsure whether he is genuinely stressed or simply offloading everything onto her without realising it.
“We’ve been together for quite some time already, so he’s almost finished, so I just don’t know if this is his way of releasing his stress (but onto me). I want to ask if it’s normal, any thoughts?” she wrote.
“When you love someone, you are willing to meet them halfway.”
In the comments, many users pointed out that NS can be genuinely exhausting and urged the woman to be a little more patient with her boyfriend.
One user said, “Aiya, NS will constantly make you feel bad. In a combat unit, you really have no break and have to suck up/bottle up your feelings and just carry on; there’s really no time/outlet to process these feelings and emotions, so it makes ANYONE really salty and pessimistic about life. Think of it as a prison with slightly more benefits (it pretty much is).”
Another shared his personal experience, saying, “When you love someone, you are willing to meet them halfway. I made the mistake of demanding too much from my friends and family during NS and lost most of them. But that’s to say that yes, NS (especially in a combat voc) is really awful, to the point that I disregarded any considerations I had for others in my life just because I felt like constant crap all the time.”
Meanwhile, others encouraged her to gently open up to her boyfriend about how she feels rather than keeping things to herself.
One explained, “Hi, what I think you should do is communicate with him about this issue, because a relationship works both ways, not just you taking care of him all the time. If he thinks that you’re ‘burdening’ him with your problems (which isn’t fair to you), I think you can reconsider this relationship and see whether it’s for you.”
They added, “A boyfriend, no matter how tired or stressed, will ultimately care for you still; NS is not an excuse. This is why people say if you can survive NS with your bf, your relationship is quite strong.”
In other news, a father who’s close to retirement has allegedly threatened to sue his son under the Maintenance of Parents Act after being denied an allowance.
The son, clearly upset by the situation, took to social media on Thursday (Sept 4) to ask if his father, who he claims is addicted to gambling, could legally “demand” money from him.
For context, the son wrote on the r/askSingapore forum that his father “has zero savings” left because he had blown everything on 4D and TOTO over the years.
Read more: Gambling father who lost all savings to 4D and TOTO allegedly threatens to sue son for allowance
