SINGAPORE: A Singaporean woman recently shared on social media that some men get visibly “offended” when she fails to react with enough “interest or admiration” after they brag about their wealth.
In a post on Reddit’s r/sgdatingscene forum on Thursday (Dec 25), the woman wrote that many of the men she meets seem eager to impress her by listing off their spending habits and financial status. According to her, these conversations often revolve around “what branded things they buy, how much they earn, what car they drive, what credit card they use, or what expensive restaurants they go to.”
“I’m honestly very unimpressed by this and usually respond pretty nonchalantly or just change the topic,” she wrote, adding that her lack of enthusiasm has, on several occasions, appeared to rub these men the wrong way.
She went on to explain that while she is genuinely interested in fashion, her interest lies in the deeper aspects of it rather than brand names or logos.
“I’m deeply into fashion, but in terms of materials, labour, law and cultural cycles, not logos,” she said. “So when ‘branded stuff’ is mentioned purely for the brand name or logo, I’m not that interested.”
The woman also shared that topics such as cars, income levels, and credit cards hold little appeal for her, especially in a city like Singapore.
“I don’t care about cars in a city with excellent public transport. I don’t want to know how much someone earns. I don’t care about credit cards, points, or deals. I’m also not a foodie,” she added, saying she is “perfectly happy with Pastamania or Saizeriya.”
Reflecting on these experiences, the woman said she doesn’t think the issue is really about money itself, but rather what it represents.
To her, it feels like a learned form of signalling.
“In a pragmatic, status-conscious society like SG, financial markers become shorthand for worth or masculinity, and consumption stands in for personality,” she wrote. “But that shorthand doesn’t work for everyone.”
She added that when money and consumption are used as the main “hook” in dating, it starts to feel more like a performance than a genuine attempt to connect.
“Dating becomes performance instead of connection. Attraction turns transactional instead of relational,” she said, acknowledging that this kind of signalling may work for some people, just not for her.
“These men build their personality around their success.”
In the comments, several Singaporean Redditors weighed in on her experience, offering their own theories on why some men lean so heavily on wealth and spending as a way to impress potential partners.
One commenter speculated, “They dated many sinkie women who only care about how much they make. Good of you to not be materialistic.”
Another said, “In my opinion, these men build their personality around their success. Who they are is what they do and what they’ve achieved. Ironically, this leads them to get together with women who only want their $ and don’t actually appreciate them for themselves. Not my cup of tea either.”
A third explained, “I think it’s ok to share about finances, but that shouldn’t be the crux of the conversations. Because ultimately, finances are meant to afford experiences. And for these groups of people, perhaps they spend more on luxurious experiences and status products. They believe that by doing so, it gives them happiness.”
A fourth added, “Because they revolve their life around money and it becomes a part of their identity. Being disinterested to this is the same as being disinterested in a musician’s music. Just an unfortunate mismatch in values.”
In other news, a 28-year-old man from Singapore recently shared on Reddit that his parents cancelled all Christmas gatherings they were supposed to attend this year because they felt embarrassed by his “lack of achievements compared to his cousins.”
The man posted his story on Reddit’s Ask Singapore forum and explained that his parents had always set extremely high expectations for him. They had hoped he would become a lawyer, a doctor, or work in a high-profile career in accounting or finance.
