SINGAPORE: “I feel like I have failed my parents.”
Those were the words of a 32-year-old woman who recently realised that she hasn’t done much for her ageing parents.
Sharing her story in a post on the r/askSingapore subreddit, she explained that she had once been a “high-flying” student who secured a stable job after graduation and began contributing a monthly allowance of S$500 to her parents, as they had agreed.
However, things gradually unravelled when her mental and physical health deteriorated, making it difficult for her to hold down a job.
“I struggled to keep a job,” she wrote. “Even when I got a salary, it went immediately to paying bills. I couldn’t contribute to my parents (I thought temporarily), and they were very understanding and said ok.”
On several occasions, she said they even stepped in to support her instead, transferring between S$500 and S$1,000 when she and her husband struggled with debts from “paying housing mortgage, insurance, etc.”
Her situation worsened recently after an accident left her unable to walk, requiring hospitalisation and the use of a wheelchair. During this period, her father took on the responsibility of accompanying her to medical appointments.
It was then that a moment struck her deeply.
She noticed that her father’s hair had turned completely grey, and that he now walked with some difficulty, even as he continued to care for her.
“I feel like a completely failed daughter who can’t even take care of her parents in their old age. I don’t want to stand at their funerals and regret letting their lives pass me by,” she said.
“I don’t have a job right now because of the injury, and I don’t think it will be easy to get one anytime soon because of the job market.”
Considering her current situation, the woman asked other Singaporeans in the forum:
“Besides giving allowance money, which I can’t do at the moment, what can I do to express that I love my parents and want to create good times with them? How do I do right by them?”
“I am really bad with emotional and sentimental things…I got bullied in school, and to this day I am very socially awkward. My family is also quite emotionally distant in general.”
“Remember to just be there for them when they need it.”
Within just a day, the post had pulled in more than 430 upvotes and over 100 comments.
Many readers encouraged the woman to spend more “quality time” with her parents.
One shared, “As a parent myself, I hope my kids come and see me often. My mum ever told me, ‘It doesn’t mean you give me money every month, you can come and visit me less, don’t wait until I cannot recognise you and then you come over; it will be too late.’ Not every parent needs your allowance. Some just need your presence.”
Others encouraged her to tell her parents how much she appreciates them and to say those three simple words more often.
“Stay strong!! Sometimes, just a simple thank you, hugging them, and saying ‘I love you’ is more than sufficient. My heart melts when my little one says ‘I love you’ to me,” one commenter wrote. “And remember to just be there for them when they need it.”
A number of people also suggested showing care through small, everyday actions. Things like cooking a meal for her parents, preparing fruit, accompanying them on errands, making them a cup of coffee, or helping with practical tasks such as ordering items online were all mentioned as meaningful ways to give back.
Another commenter added that, for many parents, it is already enough to see their child healthy and doing well.
“I am a father, and if I am allowed to speak on your dad’s behalf, ‘No, we don’t need your money, we just want you to get better, healthy, and to do well in life. We took care of you, and surely we can take care of ourselves.’ I would say this exact thing to my child.”
In other news, an employee took to social media to express his frustration after his company had him carry out “a manager’s job for one year,” promoted him afterwards, but gave him “zero increment.”
Posting on the r/singaporejobs forum on Monday (Mar 23), the employee, who works in warehouse operations, said there had been a “promotion freeze last year,” though his boss had assured him that he would be promoted in 2026.
