SINGAPORE: A 25-year-old man has opened up online about his ongoing financial struggles, sharing that his father has repeatedly taken his hard-earned savings over the years, leaving him emotionally exhausted, financially strained, and uncertain about his future.
Posting anonymously on Reddit’s r/askSingapore forum on Friday (Dec 26), the man explained that he has been working since his polytechnic days and has now held a full-time job for almost a year. Despite earning a steady income, he said he has never been able to build any meaningful savings.
Each time he manages to set money aside, it is either spent on household expenses or requested by his father, who frequently cites loan repayments, bills, and other “urgent” financial needs.
He recalled that after graduating from polytechnic, he managed to save about S$10,000 to fund his university education.
However, his father, who works as a Grab driver, later asked for the entire amount, saying it was needed for “car loan, car maintenance, road tax, petrol, and house loan” payments.
During his university years, the man continued working part-time from his first to final year and managed to save another S$10,000. Unfortunately, those savings were quickly depleted.
He said his cat suffered two medical emergencies that year, and whatever remained was again requested by his father to cover “car loan, house loan, and whatever big bills there are.”
When he entered the workforce and began repaying his S$24,000 university loan, his father once more asked him to help clear a S$10,000 credit card debt.
“I decided to help out,” he wrote. “So I took on a part-time job on top of my full-time job, working 50 to 70 hours a week for eight months, to the point I developed health issues from overworking.”
After giving his father close to S$11,000 over those eight months, he said he finally asked about the status of the credit card bill, only to be told it had dropped from S$10,000 to S$7,000.
“Where the heck did the rest of my money go???” he wrote. “After that, he even asked me for another S$2.6k to pay his road tax, when I already transferred him S$2k that month.”
When he declined, citing a lack of funds, his father’s response left him stunned.
“He freakin’ said, ‘But I see you work so many hours this month.’ Just wow. No concern for my well-being or whatsoever.”
Eventually, the man said he confronted his father and told him he would stop giving large sums of money and would instead contribute only 10 per cent of his salary out of filial piety.
However, the situation escalated again last week when his father’s car broke down on the expressway.
According to the mechanic, the car repairs would cost around S$4,000. On top of that, his father also asked him to cover about four months’ worth of town council fees, which came to approximately S$400.
When he explained that he could not afford it, his father simply told him to “put it on your credit card.”
“I can’t even enjoy my 13th-month bonus because it is all going to that stupid car,” he wrote. “The only thing I could salvage out of this situation was telling him that I wouldn’t give him filial piety money until I could pay off the S$4k debt.”
The man added that the situation has been especially stressful because he had been saving for a long-planned trip to Japan with friends, which was arranged eight months in advance.
“I’ve been trying to save up for a trip to Japan with my friends and I even took up another part-time job. But now with this S$4k car repair, and who knows whatever payments there are next year, I’m about to lose my savings again.”
He also shared that his financial instability has affected his personal life, admitting that he has never had the courage to join dating apps because he feels guilty at the thought of dragging someone else into his situation.
Hoping for some reassurance, he concluded his post by asking the Reddit community whether his situation would eventually improve.
“Anyone in the same or similar situation so far?” he wrote. “Will things get better as I progress in my career and earn more? Can anyone share some stories so I can feel some hope?”
To provide context about his current circumstances, he added, “My salary is below median because of my industry (science), and my 2 siblings are going through the ITE route so I don’t see them joining the workforce anytime soon to alleviate my burden, though they are working part-time jobs too to help my dad. And Mom left because she cheated, it was not due to his financial issues.”
“You are not your father’s retirement plan.”
In the comments, many readers urged the man to stop giving his father money, including the portion he set aside out of filial duty, arguing that his father was clearly taking advantage of his generosity.
One Singaporean Redditor wrote, “Sounds like your dad’s money is being spent somewhere else instead of on a car/house. Driving Grab should bring home some good income even after paying for car maintenance, etc. I think you should aim to move out and cut off your money flow to him.”
Another told him, “You are not your father’s retirement plan. He is responsible for his own financial situation.”
A third commenter pointed out, “It’s clear that your dad is very bad with money, so stop giving him money. The sooner you stop, the less you enable his habits. If you want to help, just pay bills; don’t give him money directly. You’re probably better off paying off your loans.”
A fourth added, “As a father myself, I have to say sorry on behalf of all fathers and your father failed you. Might as well, he didn’t work and just stay at home and eat.”
In other news, a woman shared online that she was left both entertained and quietly baffled after discovering that a colleague who failed to secure a promotion had decided to try her luck by renaming her role to “Manager” anyway.
In her post on a local discussion forum, she explained that it had long been common knowledge in the office that this particular colleague had been aiming for a managerial position.
