SINGAPORE: A domestic helper reported that she was exhausted, working from early morning to near midnight, with no time to rest. Her employer, she claimed, also refused to let her transfer out of the household.
While many may feel she should leave her employer for her own physical and mental health, some may feel she should talk things through with her employer first, as switching homes doesn’t always solve such problems.
According to a case report by The Independent Singapore (Jan 31), the helper was assigned to care for 15-month-old twins while managing housework for a family of four. Her work starts as early as 5:30 a.m. and almost always stretches late into the night. She described feeling worn out and stuck, especially after three failed requests to transfer out.
Is it really part of the job or just crossing the line?
At first glance, this looks like a dispute over workload and control, but most conflicts like this don’t explode overnight. They build slowly: A task was added here, a longer workday there, a skipped rest hour that becomes routine. Over time, what felt manageable starts to feel endless.
Employers may see it as part of the job, but helpers may see it as crossing the line. Both may adjust their personal views on the matter in silence until they reach a point where they can no longer find it practical.
Step away or communicate?
The usual advice by most people for helpers in such situations would be either to:
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Step away from the employer for her own well-being if she is struggling, or,
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Call for communication with her employer, as guidelines may not have been properly set. Moreover, changing employers doesn’t always guarantee better conditions anyway.
Each piece of advice above carries some truth and reflects how people interpret the same situation through different lenses. For some, it is about rights and limits. For others, it is about patience and compromise.
When “flexibility” becomes a problem
Many households may run better when they operate on a flexible schedule because daily needs change, especially with young children, but flexibility without limits can become a problem when a longer workday for a helper is considered “normal,” extra tasks go unquestioned, and rest becomes optional.
From the employer’s side, all of it may feel uncompromisingly necessary. From the helper’s side, it feels excruciatingly endless torment. And that’s when avoidable friction starts to fire up.
Rejected transfer request was more than just a logistical issue
The helper said her transfer requests were rejected because she believed cost was a factor, as employers may worry about helper replacement costs and household disruption, leaving helpers feeling trapped in return.
And now, what could have been a practical decision turns into an unnecessary standoff.
Hundreds of helper complaints linked to overwork in Singapore
This is not a one-off case. Data have shown hundreds of complaints linked to overwork over the years. The pattern is consistent: long hours, unguided duties, and poor communication tend to appear together.
Agencies do their best to match households and helpers, but real homes are not fixed systems with an easily predictable outcome. They can be messy, changing, and stressful. And without properly communicated ground rules, even a good match can go wrong.
Communication remains key to solving misunderstandings
Most employer-helper misunderstandings don’t start with major disagreements. They start with small things left unsaid, such as:
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Unspecified or inconsistent working hours
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Vague task lists
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Different ideas of rest time
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Assumptions about flexibility
These don’t require complex solutions because it’s not much of a real problem. It just needs proper guidelines early on. For example:
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Set fixed working hours
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Define rest time
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List out core duties
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Agree on what “extra help” means, if any
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Revisit these when routines change
Most importantly, speak up before frustration builds on either side. Small issues are easier to fix when they are still small. Don’t just leave it alone because they rarely stay that way for long.
Read related: What a maid’s complaint about her employer reveals about employer-helper expectation clashes in Singapore
