SINGAPORE: A first-time employer recently found herself in a difficult situation when she hired a maid who disobeyed her orders.
In an anonymous post to “MDW in Singapore,” she said: “I think my problem with her is that she doesn’t follow instructions. I’m a non-confrontational person, and she seems to have an attitude when I tell her to do things a certain way.”
The employer also described specific instances when her maid did not comply with her requests. For instance, despite being told otherwise, the maid kept deep-frying their meals almost daily.
“We go through a bottle of sunflower oil a week because she would deep fry everything. We’re not health freaks but we can’t keep eating fried food.
Talked to her about it and for a few days the food would be steamed or shallow fried but then it will go back to being deep fried.”
She also asked the maid to cook only once a day, preferably in the morning, to free up her afternoons and help her take care of her children.
While the maid initially followed this instruction for a few days, she later reverted to cooking twice a day, leaving the employer to manage the children in the afternoon as the maid spent more time in the kitchen.
Moreover, she shared that her maid has been showering 2–3 times daily, each lasting 20 minutes. “We have never addressed this issue because we did tell her to be clean, but this seems a little excessive.
As comparison, I’m a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) with two children, and I barely have time to shower once a day. She also has plenty of rest time as I take the kids for a nap from 2-5pm so she’s free during that time.
Even if they wake up early, I would make them stay in the room as to not bother her.”
“Have a good talk with your helper, tell her about your concerns and give an ultimatum”
In the comments section, numerous employers pointed out that having an open and honest conversation with her helper about her concerns and expectations is crucial for a harmonious working relationship.
One employer said, “These may sound like not serious issues, but small things become big when they accumulate, so it’s best to set boundaries.
Communication is important. Have a good talk with your helper, tell her about your concerns, and give her an ultimatum. If, within a month, she doesn’t change and keeps pushing the boundaries, then let her go.
I believe you hired a helper to make your life easier and not to have someone to ‘babysit’.”
Another commented, “Ma’am, you need to talk to her carefully so that she understand the things she should not do and should do. You are free to tell her everything you want to happen; I’m sure she will understand.”
A few employers and helpers suggested she create a written schedule and menu for her maid. This menu could include meal plans for different days, recipes, or instructions on how to prepare each dish.
One netizen said, “For the foods problem, Maybe you can make Table menu for her. It’s much easier for all of you. You can get what u want, she can just cook based on schedule no need to think first.”
As for her maid’s frequent showering, several helpers said this was understandable because of the hot weather. One of them stated:
“I myself shower 3 times a day these days because it’s so hot and I sweat a lot, especially if she’s doing labor like cleaning and cooking. I would not mention it just yet.”
Read related: Employer says her maid “frequently talks to her BF openly and loudly in the living room”
Featured image by Depositphotos
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