SINGAPORE: A frustrated Singaporean has set off an online discussion after calling out the “nonsense culture” of wedding dinners, where guests now have to hand over angbao amounts nearing S$300 just to break even.
In his post on the r/SingaporeRaw subreddit, he told his fellow “bros and sis” that he truly wants to celebrate his friends’ big days, but not if it means emptying his wallet.
“I want to be happy for you affordably,” he said. “Can we all just keep it to S$100 and below? Honestly, I say yes to the wedding invitation, but when I receive the physical invite and see the place, it is too late to say no.”
He then shared that in the past, giving around S$188 was normal for most hotel weddings. But now, he is seeing breakeven rates creeping close to S$300, leaving him with “headache” and the sinking realisation that a big chunk of his money — money he could have spent on himself — is being redirected to help couples cover their banquet costs.
“If you have friends like that, they are not worth your time.”
The post has since reignited the long-standing debate over whether couples should keep using the angbao tradition as a way to recoup their wedding costs.
One Redditor said, “Why have weddings become a break-even event? That’s probably the difference between an Indian/Malay and a Chinese wedding. I love attending Indian/Malay weddings because there is no pressure—gifting is not compulsory, and cash is not always expected.”
They added, “For couples who can’t afford a wedding without asking people to contribute to help them break even, you should go for a registered wedding and a small celebration with a potluck. Don’t make people fund your dream wedding.”
Another commented, “I agree. It is very bad form to hold weddings in high-end venues and expect your guests to pay for it. It is even more despicable if you did not inform your guest of the venue before they RSVP. Just spend within your means.”
A third remarked, “If you have friends like that, they are not worth your time.”
A fourth shared, “These people can weed themselves out, not people you want in your life anyway. For my wedding and my brother’s wedding, we were just happy that people attended. One of my brother’s friends even told him he had no money for the ang bao, my brother told him not to be silly, he invited him because he wanted him there, not for his money.”
Others, however, disagreed, saying that if guests cannot afford the minimum angbao amount set by the couple, they can simply decline the invitation. According to them, cutting the couple off or criticising them online is entirely unnecessary.
One user told the post author, “You have the choice of not attending. If you decide to go to the wedding dinner, then that’s the ‘market’ rate, unfortunately.”
Another wrote, “You can stop the nonsense for yourself by not attending. Honestly, it’s ok to reject. It’s not ok if you choose to promise and then not turn up when the seat plan is allocated to you.”
In other news, a local fresh graduate took to social media to vent that all 20 interviews he attended through MyCareersFuture ended with employers finding one excuse after another not to hire him, leading him to suspect that some companies were just posting jobs on the platform to “tick boxes”.
Posting on the r/SingaporeRaw subreddit, he explained that the interviews he got through JobStreet and LinkedIn felt way more genuine and constructive.
