SINGAPORE: A man has turned to the online community for advice after his wife grew increasingly unhappy with his decision to stop working full-time, despite the couple being financially stable.
In a post published on the r/SGHenry subreddit, the man, in his late 30s, explained that he and his wife have been married for five years and have been together for about a decade.
He shared that his wife comes from a modest background, having worked from a young age under the care of her grandmother. According to him, she has always been very cautious about money and prefers to keep her finances private, something he has respected throughout their relationship.
Previously earning about S$80,000 per year, the man left his job during the COVID-19 period after inheriting two commercial properties from his late father.
The properties now generate an annual net rental income of approximately S$250,000. With the couple’s executive condominium (EC) already more than halfway paid off, he decided to step away from corporate work and focus on living a more balanced and low-stress lifestyle.
He now spends his days managing the household, staying active, and taking on a small freelance training gig that brings in about S$1,500 a month.
Initially, he said his wife appeared supportive. He would send her to and from work, take care of all the household chores, and ensure that everything at home was well-managed.
However, tensions began to rise as she started expressing frustration over the perceived imbalance, particularly the fact that he was able to enjoy a leisurely lifestyle while she continued working full-time.
“Slowly, she got very pissed that I’m ‘enjoying’ life to the max while she had to work. Now she made it very clear from the start of our relationship that her money is hers and mine is mine, we just need a common pool for common expenses. I have been paying for everything in the last few years, but she isn’t satisfied,” he said.
“I did tell her she can leave her job and find something part-time to chill and enjoy life, but she says what about her pay? Who will make up the S$8k (ballpark)? She expects me to give her S$8k on top of the current expenses I am handling right now.”
The man also mentioned that his wife proposed selling both commercial properties and their EC to upgrade to a landed property, a goal she has had since childhood.
However, the man said he disagrees with this plan. “We don’t have kid and don’t plan to so that space is really wasted,” he wrote.
He also said that taking on this upgrade would likely require him to return to full-time work, which he is reluctant to do.
At the end of his post, the man asked the community, “Guys, how do I approach this? Am I being selfish for not giving in?”
“You both agreed to the terms before settling down. Her money is hers, your money is yours.”
The post drew mixed reactions from users. Some encouraged the man to have an honest talk with his wife about their future plans and expectations.
One user, who said she was a wife herself, commented, “I think you’re providing her with enough, and it’s a good life. It’s DINK (double income, no kids) on easy mode. If you still love her and see a future with her (sounds like you do), talk it out with her, possibly with a professional relationship counsellor?”
Others, however, were more critical of the wife’s expectations and strongly sided with the husband.
“Your wife sounds like she’s being selfish and unreasonable. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. You’re living the good life, and she can too, but she has some weird issues going on in her head from what I can tell,” one user wrote.
“There’s absolutely no way you owe her S$8k per month for quitting her job if you’re already handling expenses and doing the house husband thing!”
Another said, “Controversial take, but you should keep the commercial properties away from her. You both agreed to the terms before settling down. Her money is hers, your money is yours.”
“I get where she’s coming from, but you don’t have to give up two revenue-generating commercial properties for a landed house that looks good but drains cash.”
In other news, a foreigner who previously lived in Singapore took to Reddit to ask locals whether they ever find life in the city-state a “bit dull.”
In a post on Reddit’s ‘Ask Singapore’ forum, the foreigner praised the country for its many strengths, including safety, efficiency, modern infrastructure, and strong governance. Calling it an “incredibly well-run place,” he said there is much to respect and admire.
However, he couldn’t help but wonder if something deeper might be missing beneath the surface.
Read more: Foreigner asks, ‘Do you ever feel like Singapore is… a bit dull?’
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)
