SINGAPORE: A woman has ignited fresh conversation about the intense pressure to settle down in Singapore after sharing how her parents reacted to her best friend’s engagement news.
She wrote on r/sgdatingscene that she was genuinely thrilled for her friend when she first heard the news, and for a brief moment, it was simply a happy milestone worth celebrating. But when she told her family the news, her mood quickly changed as her parents “looked at her as if she were a failure.”
“I could tell that they were visibly unhappy with the news,” she said. “It just gets worse and worse each year as people around me settle down.”
She added that she used to have a very healthy outlook. If things didn’t work out for her, and if she wasn’t meant to end up with anyone, she was perfectly content with the idea of staying single.
But lately, that mindset has started to shift. “Sometimes I feel like I might succumb to their pressure and settle down… but that sounds so wrong and not a good mindset, especially when there’s another person involved in the union.”
“I just feel like, why can’t we just be different and not follow this path they have crafted, and people around just be understanding of our decision?” she wrote.
“I mean, I understand it’s coming from a place of care and concern. But I feel like they are more worried about us not fulfilling some designated duty than our comfort and happiness in the end.”
She also shared that she now looks up to an older cousin in her mid-30s who is still single. Coming from a large family, her cousin has likely endured years of intrusive questions and subtle digs.
“I don’t even know how she managed to survive all that pressure over the years till now, especially because she comes from a big family full of her own set of cousins. So she likely would have been bombarded with such questions/criticisms over the years.”
Concluding her post, she wrote, “To those on the same boat as myself, I just wanted to say that you are not alone and this too shall pass. And I’m glad that you stood your ground to protect yourself.”
“There is no need to settle down or compare yourself to others.”
In the discussion thread, many commenters showed support for the woman and told her not to let her parents or relatives pressure her into making a life decision she is not ready for.
One wrote, “Please don’t be hit by all the pressure from these boomers. Some married because of pressure, and in the end their married life suffered. They had kids and divorced. Some look happy in their marriage to others but may be encountering problems with their spouses and kids. Many problems arise. Don’t succumb to any of their pressure.”
Another commented, “Ask the relatives who have so much to say if they are funding the wedding, house, and kids’ education. I gave the family elders zero face during CNY a few years back, and they haven’t brought it up again ever since.”
A third said, “Be happy for yourself, not for others.”
A fourth added, “If you are truly happy living a single life, then follow that path. There is no need to settle down or compare yourself to others.”
In other news, an HR product manager has revealed in a viral clip that companies are merely using artificial intelligence, performance improvement plans, and return-to-office mandates as an excuse to push out employees.
“I worked in HR and compensation for years—and even I didn’t see this coming,” the woman wrote in her caption. “RTO isn’t about collaboration. PIPs aren’t about performance. And the ‘AI efficiency’ excuse? It’s the biggest corporate rebrand of the decade.”
