SINGAPORE: A local man recently raised a question on Reddit asking if it is okay to rely entirely on partners to provide for them. He said he observed two relationships within his social circle where one partner does not work and depends almost fully on the other for financial support.
Writing on the r/SingaporeRaw subreddit, he shared that his cousin has been supporting his long-term partner for years. According to him, she has not held a steady job in a long time and depends on his cousin to cover most, if not all, of her expenses.
“I think that’s acceptable if you at least contribute in other ways, like taking care of the house or being of some value add to your partner’s life,” he said. “But his partner does not take care of the house. Instead, she creates messes around the house, and he has to be the one to tidy up. She does not plan to get a proper job and insists that she runs a sustainable online business selling stones.”
He then cited another example involving his friend’s brother, who did not complete tertiary education and has never held stable employment.
“[My friend’s brother] has a partner who is still a student, and he relies on his partner to pay for every single thing,” the man said.
“His partner receives a generous allowance from the parents every month, and this amount of money is being used to pay for their food/travels/entertainment/alcohol/cigarettes. He does not contribute in any way at home; he doesn’t lift his finger to do a single chore.”
According to the man, all the brother does in the relationship is “eat, sleep, drink, and smoke.”
“His parents do not care and have never once told him off for pretty much being a useless bum. They’re not even ashamed that he’s leeching off his younger partner.”
What troubled him further was that when he brought up these concerns in conversations, he was told that this is “actually something to be envious of.” Some people, he said, believe that if you have a partner who is willing and able to provide for you fully, there is nothing wrong with staying home and not working.
Wondering if he was wrong for judging these couples, he asked other Reddit users, “I understand that there are people who are willing to completely provide for their partner, but shouldn’t the partner be at least of some value add? As an adult, wouldn’t you feel a sense of responsibility?”
He added, “Was wondering if this is normal? Would you be okay if your partner relies on you to take care of everything but does nothing to (add value) to your life? Would you be able to accept it if your child was with someone like that?”
“I’d never marry a parasite.”
The post received mixed reactions from readers. While some argued that it is acceptable for couples to have one partner take on the financial responsibilities, many others sided with the Redditor.
One shared, “Speaking as someone whose parents were in this exact situation—I grew up with a lot of resentment toward the parent who contributed nothing. I swore to myself I would never marry someone like that.”
She added, “And ladies, please take it from me—at the very least, marry at your level, if not upwards. Make sure he’s responsible and hardworking. He doesn’t have to be rich, and I’m not telling you to be a trad wife, but please don’t discount yourself in the name of ‘love.’ Love should add to your life, not make you carry everything alone.”
Another commented, “Nah, I’d never marry a parasite. It’s fine if you can’t contribute financially, but adding to the burden even more—that’s too much.”
A third said, “I’ve seen similar situations happen before, and all of them don’t end well. A lot of mental toll on the provider.”
In other news, a worried son has turned to social media for advice after his elderly father, who is in his early 60s, was dismissed from his job only weeks after being hired.
In a post on Reddit’s r/askSingapore forum, the son shared that his father had recently secured employment as a cleaner at one of Singapore’s top universities. However, just a few weeks into the role, his father was terminated after taking medical leave.
