SINGAPORE: A woman shared online that she feels stuck because her parents refuse to sell the HDB flat she has been paying for over the past 13 years.
Writing on Reddit’s r/asksg, she explained that after she graduated, her parents could not afford the housing loan anymore, so she stepped in and took over the payments. She is listed as one of the owners of the flat together with them.
Now married with a child, she has asked her parents to consider selling the flat, so she and her husband can purchase a home of their own. However, she said her parents responded that they would only agree to sell “if they can make a large profit.”
“I feel like I’ve been putting my own life on hold for years, waiting, and I’m honestly exhausted and starting to feel hopeless,” she said.
“My parents expect a lot from me. I pay for their housing loan, utilities, and maid levy. Yet I feel they’ve done more for my brother than for me. If I don’t meet their expectations, I’m made to feel like I’m being difficult or ungrateful. It’s very draining.”
She also mentioned that because of all the financial burden, she sometimes thinks about leaving it all behind and moving to her foreign husband’s country.
“When I was there before, I felt peaceful. I was sad that I couldn’t contribute financially, but at least I wasn’t constantly stressed,” she wrote.
“My husband works from home while taking care of our daughter. [He] is kind and peaceful, but I feel like I’m carrying all this stress on my own. I’m really at my wits’ end and don’t know what the right decision is.”
On top of everything, she said she is also dealing with a toxic workplace.
“I try my best to be kind and professional, but there’s a colleague at the same level as me who makes me dread going to work. I haven’t made any mistakes, yet she constantly micromanages another colleague and me,” the woman said, adding that it has gotten to a point where she feels anxious and scared on some days.
“She makes comments like, “Not that I don’t trust you all, but…” which feels very undermining. On top of that, there’s gossip and unkind behaviour in the office. I want to quit, but the pay is decent and I feel financially responsible for too many things to just walk away.”
Seeking advice from the community about her situation, she asked, “Has anyone gone through something similar? I would really appreciate any advice. Thank you very much!”
“Toxic parents drain your energy.”
Many Singaporean Redditors responded by encouraging her to prioritise her own well-being and reconsider the extent of her financial support for her parents.
One commenter bluntly advised her to stop making payments on their behalf and to focus on her mental health, especially now that she has a child who depends on her.
“Stop paying for them,” they wrote. “I don’t know what else to say. Love yourself more, put yourself and your mental health first. Do you know autoimmune disease is always linked to people leading lives with high stress levels? Now you have a kid. Think of your child and take care of yourself.”
Another suggested that she should seriously consider moving to her husband’s country, arguing that distance from toxic family dynamics could provide much-needed relief and allow her to rebuild her life on her own terms.
“Toxic parents can drain your energy,” they pointed out. “Move to another country and let your brother handle them for once. Prioritise your own mental and physical well-being for once! Your child deserves a pair of healthy parents.”
Meanwhile, a third commenter proposed exploring the government’s Lease Buyback Scheme as a possible compromise.
They said, “Your parents can go through the government buyback scheme, so you won’t have to pay for the housing loan further. Consider it as sunk cost. Either this or move to your partner’s home country. That seems to be the best solution for yourself.”
They added, “Wonder what your brother has been contributing. And your parents surely can afford their own loan and maid and utilities, etc. At the very least, they would be able to once they rent out a room or two.”
In other news, an HR product manager has revealed in a viral clip that companies are merely using artificial intelligence, performance improvement plans, and return-to-office mandates as an excuse to push out employees.
“I worked in HR and compensation for years—and even I didn’t see this coming,” the woman wrote in her caption. “RTO isn’t about collaboration. PIPs aren’t about performance. And the ‘AI efficiency’ excuse? It’s the biggest corporate rebrand of the decade.”
