SINGAPORE: A woman’s Valentine’s Day took an unexpected turn after her longtime male best friend confessed that he had been in love with her for years, leaving her torn between guilt, confusion, and the fear of losing one of the most important people in her life.
In a post on the r/SingaporeRaw forum, she shared that they have been extremely close since secondary school and have supported each other through relationships, breakups, and major life milestones.
“He’s always been the one I can count on, as a friend. I honestly never thought he saw me as anything more than a sister.”
However, during breakfast after a gym session, the atmosphere suddenly shifted. She recalled that he became unusually quiet before finally opening up about what he had been keeping to himself for years.
“He just let it all out,” she wrote. “He told me he has been in love with me for years. He said that back in school, he used to watch all the guys chasing after me and feel small in comparison. He always saw me as the girl everyone wanted to talk to, and he believed he never stood a chance because I was constantly being pursued by the popular guys.”
She added that he went on to share what he admired about her. He said he fell for her “beautiful, radiant smile” and called her the “prettiest girl he has ever known.”
According to her, he also made it clear that his feelings were not just about her appearance, but also about her character and heart.
“The part that really killed me was when he said he only plucked up the courage to say something now because I recently broke up with my ex,” she wrote.
“He said he hated seeing another guy hurt me, and it broke his heart to see me cry over someone who didn’t appreciate me. He’s been holding this in for years because he didn’t want to ruin our friendship, but he couldn’t keep it inside anymore.”
After hearing the confession, the woman found herself overwhelmed with guilt and confusion.
“Guys, I’m so lost,” she wrote. “I’ve always treated him as just a good friend. I felt so guilty looking at his face because he seemed so hopeful and vulnerable. I didn’t want to reject him on Valentine’s Day of all days, so I told him I needed time to think. Now I feel terrible. Did I lead him on by being so close to him?”
She also admitted that she does not want to lose him because he has been her pillar of support, but, at the same time, she also does not want to give him false hope.
“If I say no, will our friendship ever be the same?” she asked other Singaporeans on the forum. “I feel awful that he has been suffering in silence while watching me date other people. Am I a bad person for not noticing the signs? How am I supposed to face him now?”
“Tell him how you feel and let him decide how he should respond.”
In the discussion thread, numerous users warned the woman that her friendship with her longtime friend would likely change if she rejected his romantic feelings.
One commenter wrote, “If you say no, the friendship will most likely be gone. If you’re already treating him like a bro, then I think it’s not wise to go into a relationship.”
Another commented, “The moment he spoke up, you already lost a friend. No matter if you accept him as your boyfriend or not. From that moment on you already realised you cannot look at him and treat him the same as before, as you will be afraid of leading him in the wrong way.”
A third advised, “Your friend deserves the truth. Tell him how you feel and let him decide how he should respond. If he cuts off contact with you, that’s his right, and you’ve no right to hold him back because you would lose a pillar of support.”
However, not all commenters agreed that the friendship was inevitably at risk. Some urged her to consider giving her best friend a chance.
One user wrote, “Maybe an unpopular take here…but I would say look back at those years that he was there for you. Did he date anyone else? If not, his heart is already set for you. If you have that very tiny bit of interest in him, I would say give him and yourself a chance. Say try it out for a couple of months and see how it works out.”
In other news, a 30-year-old man who is the sole breadwinner for his family has turned to social media to share that he feels “like he’s being suffocated” under the weight of caring for his elderly parents.
In a post on SGWhispers, the man explained that he is financially supporting both parents, who are in their 70s and have no independent income.
