SINGAPORE: When an elderly man on a Singapore MRT train told a young child to behave after the boy was jumping and kicking around, the kid’s mom pushed back, telling the man that he should speak nicely to her son.
The short video has ignited a long-running conversation many parents and commuters know all too well: When a child misbehaves in public, who should step in and how should they do it?
Posted on Facebook on January 13, the clip shows an elderly man confronting a mother over her young child’s disruptive behaviour on the train. The child was apparently seen jumping around, and according to the man, had even kicked him, which was something the mother did not deny.
Instead, she defended her parenting approach, telling him: “You don’t tell him off, you talk to him nicely.”
What followed was a tense exchange that quickly spread online. This heated discussion drew strong opinions as they usually do. Many people sided with the uncle and reprimanded the mother’s “gentle parenting” style, pointing out how unproductive and ineffective it can be.
What happened on the MRT
The elderly man questions why the mother did not stop her child earlier, while the mother focuses on defending her method of “talking nicely” rather than scolding.
To some viewers, the scene was uncomfortable but familiar. It was an example of how small incidents in shared spaces can escalate. To others, it highlighted deeper issues around supervision, discipline, and courtesy in public.
The mother’s comment, “you don’t tell him off, you talk to him nicely,” rapidly became a lightning rod for debate. Supporters of gentle parenting usually argue that children learn better through calm explanations rather than harsh reprimands. Critics, however, felt that gentleness should not come at the expense of other commuters’ comfort and safety.
One netizen put it bluntly: “If you fail to discipline your kids, the public will discipline them.” Another echoed a similar sentiment: “Mother, if you don’t teach your child, somebody will, and you will pay a hefty price when it costs you nothing to teach him.”
Others took a more balanced view. “Not siding with anyone here,” one comment read, “but if the man is telling the truth, saying the kid kicked him (which the woman didn’t deny), her approach in ‘telling him nicely’ is exactly why SOME kids are behaving badly in public because of such gentle parenting.”
When does helping become an intrusion?
At the heart of the debate is a tricky question: When does stepping in cross the line from concern into intrusion?
Some felt the elderly man had every right to speak up, especially if he was physically affected. “The argument concerns a woman failing to supervise her young son, who was misbehaving on the train by running around and causing disruption,” one netizen wrote. “It was commendable for an elderly man to step in and address this issue, trying to educate the woman and encourage better behaviour.”
A moment that reflects everyday friction
Beyond parenting styles, the incident struck a nerve because it reflects everyday friction in crowded, shared spaces like public transport. Trains are places where personal space is limited, patience is tested, and expectations vary widely.
One lighter comment summed up the awkwardness of the moment: “That uncle in [the] red shirt be like: ‘I want none of this [expletive], and I’m out’.”
While opinions remain divided, many agree on one thing: raising children in public spaces is hard, and so is coexisting in a society where different values collide. The video has become less about who was right or wrong, and more about how Singapore navigates respect, boundaries, and responsibility, especially when it comes to children, parents, and everyone else sharing the same ride.
