SINGAPORE: A Singapore employer has taken to Facebook after months of mounting tension at home, saying her domestic helper’s constant remarks about the size of their flat have turned daily life “toxic” and emotionally draining.
In a post shared on the Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid/Domestic Helper group, the employer said the problem goes beyond casual comments. According to her, the helper repeatedly speaks loudly on the phone at night, openly criticising the family’s living space and brushing off requests to lower her voice.
“I told her before that the rooms are not soundproof here. We can hear all your conversation, so please speak softly,” the employer wrote, but the helper retorted, saying, “It’s not her problem that the room is not soundproof.”
“In India, your whole house is the size of my one room, you know…”
The situation escalated when the noise began affecting the children. When the employer raised the issue again, she said the helper responded with: “What do you want me to do? Your house is so small. Only 3 rooms. In India, your whole house is the size of my one room, you know.”
The employer said the repeated remarks have caused “A lot of friction” at home, turning what should be a place of rest into a source of stress.
“She banged the plate when serving us food, while my husband and I were eating…”
The tension has also started showing during everyday routines. The employer claimed that during breakfast, the helper “banged the plate when serving us food, while my husband and I were eating,” leaving the couple shocked by the sudden change in behaviour.
Attempts to resolve the issue through the employment agent have so far gone nowhere. “We tried contacting the agent, and she (agent) just said ‘I will talk to her’,” the employer explained, and that nothing has changed since.
Despite the strain, the family feels stuck. “We do need her services,” the employer explained, saying financial constraints make it difficult to start the hiring process again after just three months.
“Your mummy cannot handle small household chores. That’s why she (helper) is here to work…”
What finally pushed the situation over the edge was the helper’s comment to the family’s young child. The employer said the helper told her seven-year-old son, “Your mummy cannot handle small household chores. That’s why she (helper) is here to work.”
The employer admitted she has yet to tell her husband, fearing he would “immediately fire her without thinking.”
“This behaviour is unacceptable…”
Commenters were largely unsympathetic to the helper’s behaviour. One wrote: “Why continue keeping her? There’s no point involving the agent because they will ultimately side with the helper. She has crossed the line, is openly challenging your authority, and shows a complete lack of respect and basic manners in the household.”
The commenter added: “This behaviour is unacceptable. If it were my decision, I would send her back to her country immediately.”
For now, the employer is seeking practical advice, asking for “tips” while pleading, “please don’t judge me for keeping her. I just can’t afford to look around again. It’s only been three months [since hiring the helper].”
