SINGAPORE: For some Singaporean youths, the lesson from love, or from watching it unfold around them, is simply direct and unapologetic.
“Just don’t date!” was the message that came through loud and clear in a recent TikTok video by On Second Talk @onsecondtalk, a channel described as sharing “conversations worth a second thought,” in which young interviewees were asked a simple, straightforward question: What is one thing you have learnt from a past relationship?
@onsecondtalk Dating young might seem exciting, but real relationships need emotional readiness. Take time to grow, love is healthier when you’re prepared for it.
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The answers cut straight to the heart of growing up, emotional readiness, and the pressure to couple up early.
“Just don’t date!”
In the first street interview, two young women did not hesitate even a bit to say, “Just don’t date!”
Their shared response framed dating not as a rite of passage but as something better postponed. For them, restraint was not about fear or bitterness but timing.
The first young woman who said she had never been in a relationship explained that her views were shaped by observing those around her rather than personal heartbreak.
“I haven’t had any relationships before, but something that I learnt from my friends, stories of their past relationships, is just don’t date! Until everyone around you is mature, or the people around you are mature.”
Her comment highlighted a recurring theme in the video: emotional maturity matters, and it is often uneven between couples and within peer groups.
“We’re still young; should study first instead of copying other people…”
The second young woman went further, tying dating to age, priorities, and the subtle pressure to follow others.
“We’re still young. We shouldn’t be in that kind of relationship, and you should study first instead of copying other people.” And she, too, advised the same: “Just don’t date! — when you’re young, below eighteen.”
Rather than condemning relationships outright, her advice focused on boundaries, particularly for those still navigating school life and identity. In this framing, dating young was less about romance and more about distraction.
“I don’t need someone else to complete me…”
A second video of the interview segment with a similar question, slightly shifted tone, offering a more reflective and philosophical takeaway.
“I don’t need someone else to complete me,” a third young woman said. Although she had also never been in a relationship, she credited open conversations at home, especially with her mother, for shaping her views.
“I’ve never been in a relationship before, but looking at friends or even just talking to my mum, cause my mum and I talk very, very openly about BGR (Boy Girl Relationships). Some things that I learnt are not to rush into things. Get to know someone first. Also, there’s no rush to get into a relationship.”
Her reflection pushed back against the idea of romantic completion, a message often reinforced by pop culture. “My mum taught me that a relationship will not complete me. And that’s the hard truth, even though sometimes you seek to be completed with a partner,” she said.
She then concluded with a metaphor that neatly summed up her outlook: “When two people get together, it’s two wholes coming together, and it’s not part filling part because we are already a full human. So, I don’t need someone else to complete me.”
@onsecondtalk In relationships, it’s important to be whole on your own before you can truly complement someone else.
Both videos, which have garnered a combined 40,000 views and 1,400 likes on TikTok, resonated with many because of their restraint not because of the usual dramatic stories or break-up confessions.
In addition, the video description captured the underlying message succinctly: Dating young might seem exciting, but real relationships need emotional readiness. Take the time to grow, as love is healthier when you’re really prepared for it. Also, in such relationships, it’s important to be whole on your own before you can truly complement someone else.
In an online space often dominated by relationship drama, these youths offered something quieter: advice rooted in patience and wisdom, self-development, and emotional grounding.
Their collective takeaway was not anti-love but pro-timing: grow first, know yourself, and let relationships come later if and when you are ready.
