SINGAPORE: A son has laid bare the quiet turmoil inside his family home after discovering that his father has been cheating on his mother; a fact the mother already knows, but has chosen to endure in silence.
The NUSWhispers Facebook page posted what the son anonymously wrote to them: “My dad is cheating on my mum, and my mum knows, because he admitted it to her last year.”
While the initial revelation led to “the initial quarrel and heartbreak,” the family never split; instead, they continue living together as a household with his younger brother, locked in a fragile arrangement that has dragged on for nearly two years.
“My mum just turns a blind eye to all these, pretending nothing happened…”
What distresses him most is not just the infidelity but how openly it unfolds at home. “He sends voice messages to his mistress, speaking quietly, but we can all hear him,” the son wrote further. His father also routinely goes out late at night, returning after midnight, while his mother “just turns a blind eye to all these, pretending nothing happened.”
Outwardly, the parents still appear united. “They (my mum and dad) still go out on dates and have a social life together,” the son said, adding that these public displays only sharpen the pain because the signs of cheating persist behind closed doors.
The situation escalated when the affair spilt onto social media. “One time his mistress even posted a photo with him (dad) on Facebook and tagged him,” the sad son shared, describing the act as “blatant behaviour” that has taken a toll on his mental health.
“Dad’s blatant behaviour is making me depressed…”
The emotional strain has pushed the son to distance himself from his own home. “Dad’s blatant behaviour is making me depressed; I have been coming home late just to avoid seeing or speaking to him,” the son expressed his uncomfortable feelings.
While he acknowledges that the marriage is ultimately his parents’ issue to resolve, he admits he cannot reconcile with what he sees as a moral failure. “I cannot find it in my heart to accept that what he (dad) is doing is morally right,” the son added.
The unpleasant experience has now shaped his own values, which he concluded with: “If I get married, I promise myself to be a better husband than my dad and not make the same mistakes.”
“I really hope to move out with them (family) in 2026 so that she (mum) can have a happier life without him (dad)…”
The son, who has been working for several years, revealed a long-term plan to move out with his mother and brother. His mother is currently a housewife, and his father pays for household expenses.
“I really hope to move out with them in 2026 so that she can have a happier life without him (dad),” the son said, adding that once his brother starts working, they hope to get their own place and proceed with a divorce.
“Never ever end up being a housewife. It’s the dumbest thing you will do for yourself!”
Commenters offered a mix of empathy and hard truths. One said, “I am sure that your mother is tolerating it for her children’s sake. She is probably waiting for her children to be independent to get a house before she decides what to do. Give her some time to decide and the support she needs. A married woman can do anything to protect her children.”
Another highlighted legal and financial realities, noting, “In SG, cheating on a spouse is not illegal,” and warning that a housewife entering a contested divorce could be left vulnerable.
“If a wife decides to fight for child custody, she will definitely lose her children due to her being a housewife with no income, and once the mother gets into a contested divorce, she will be left vulnerable with no support or help from anyone unless her children are old enough and strong enough, financially or mentally, to be there for her. There are thousands of mothers in such situations who are fighting alone.”
A third commenter urged emotional boundaries, writing, “You need to separate your emotions from your mum,” cautioning that deciding for her could worsen her mental state rather than help.
“I understand the need to protect her, but you are projecting a lot of your own feelings onto her. She will need to formulate and process her own emotions and decide on a course of action separately from you. Having conversations with her about it, without telling her what to feel or how to feel, will help greatly over time. This is difficult, especially when someone you love is ‘choosing’ to hurt themselves by staying in a situation and not doing anything to change it, but the danger of deciding for her is that she may end up even more depressed from the divorce. She might even end up blaming you for her state instead of the real culprit: your dad.”
A fourth didn’t hold back to say, “Your mother has to keep quiet and tolerate the infidelity because she doesn’t have the means to even fend for herself. She has no job, no home, no ability to pay the bills, which brings me to my main point: women, no matter how much you think you love your husband, never, ever end up being a housewife. It’s the dumbest thing you will do for yourself! Anyway, get a divorce. Your mum could probably still get some assets.”
What a marriage should never be
The post reflects a reality many families endure silently, where betrayal is known, pain is visible, yet daily life continues as if nothing happened.
For this son, the affair is not just his parents’ problem. It is a constant presence at home, shaping his mental health, his future plans, and his understanding of what a marriage should never be.
