SINGAPORE: After nearly a decade of swiping, matching, and going on what he said were increasingly joyless dates, a 39-year-old Singaporean man has declared that he is officially done trying to find a partner in the city-state.
In a lengthy post on the r/SingaporeR Reddit forum, the man vented that “dating in SG for a local man is honestly the most frustrating thing nobody should have to put up with,” adding that the experience has only gone downhill over the years.
To start, he said many women’s dating app profiles were already enough to make him want to close the app altogether, calling them a “treasure trove of red flags.”
According to him, some profiles openly state that they only like “tattooed men or emotionally unavailable men,” while others say outright that “local Chinese men don’t need to apply.”
He also claimed to have come across profiles where women casually mentioned, “You need to do xxx yyy zzz to impress me,” and, “Treating me like a princess is just the bare minimum—what else do you bring to the table?”
“Do you really want to swipe right on these?” he said. “I know most men are desperate and swipe right on anything but come on have some standards.”
Even when he does manage to get a match, the frustration does not end there. The man complained that keeping a conversation going feels like pulling teeth. In his experience, matches either ghost him halfway, get offended by harmless jokes, or are perpetually unavailable.
“You ask if she’s free next week, and she goes, ‘Oh, I’m so busy with work, busy meeting with my same few friends, busy with travel,’” he wrote sarcastically, adding that travel seems to be “their primary hobby, all of them.” More often than not, he said, the earliest they can meet is three months later, by which point the conversation is long dead.
When dates do happen, he said they often feel less like romantic outings and more like job interviews. Several women, he claimed, wasted no time grilling him about his income, assets and lifestyle.
“The dates would turn into interview sessions. ‘What do you do for a living?’ ‘Do you drive here?’ ‘Where do you stay? Oh, Tiong Bahru… I see… Condo or HDB?’ ‘Do you invest? Oh which stocks do you buy? When did you start buying it?’ he wrote.
“What’s the point of paying to attend an interview for a job that isn’t even going to pay me, and which I have to pay to work at?” he added bitterly.
Even when relationships do form, the man said his experiences have left him jaded. He alleged that several of his ex-partners cheated on him with their bosses, friends, and colleagues, all while restricting him from “following other women on social media.”
To make matters worse, he claimed that once things ended, his exes would turn around and paint themselves as the “victim” to gain sympathy from their female friends.
Clearly fed up, he ended his post with a blunt conclusion: dating in Singapore as a local man in 2025 is simply not worth the stress. He called the dating pool “low quality” and warned other men against putting themselves through the same frustration.
“Guys, please do yourself a favour, work on yourself for yourself, and find some other hobbies to do.”
“Might as well love yourself and see the world.”
Hundreds of Singaporean Reddit users quickly flooded the comments section, with many saying they strongly related to the man’s frustration and sense of burnout.
The most upvoted comment read, “I feel you, man! Everything feels transactional now! I have decided to just live quietly. It gets tiring, really.”
Another advised, “Bro, if I were you. I assume you are financially much more stable than me; I would travel to neighbouring countries and slowly the world. Honestly, why limit yourself to finding the one when there are so many things to explore and feel? There’s no point trying to meet new people; it’s so tiring. Might as well love yourself and see the world.”
A third chimed in writing, “I totally feel you, bro!! I thought it was just me all this while!!! I am 41 now and have given up all hope of finding a partner.”
Conversely, some users pushed back against his views, arguing that rather than blaming dating culture or women, he should take a step back and engage in self-reflection.
One commenter said, “If you can’t attract and keep a good woman, sounds like you’re the problem. You sound exhausting to be with, based on how you’re ranting off here.”
Another wrote, “Hard to sympathise ywith ou, bro. All I hear is a grown man complaining and faulting women but failing to reflect on himself. If anything, you sound like a red flag to most women who are genuinely ready to settle down.”
In other news, a Singaporean employee has expressed his frustration online after his performance grade reportedly dropped shortly after he received a promotion.
In a post on a local Reddit forum, the employee explained that his supervisor told him the decline was “completely normal in the company to allow others who did not get promoted to have the higher grade.”
Read more: ‘Feels like a slap in the face’: SG employee upset after performance grade drops post-promotion
