SINGAPORE: A man was left stunned after discovering that the woman he had been dating for nine months had secretly registered her marriage to another man, all while continuing the relationship and accepting tens of thousands of dollars from him in the name of “wedding savings”.
The story was shared by the man’s friend on Reddit on Friday (Dec 19), where he detailed how the pair began dating in March and remained together until early December.
Throughout the relationship, the woman allegedly spoke openly about marriage and asked the man to contribute monthly to a wedding savings fund, with the money transferred directly to her personal account.
According to the post, the truth only came to light after a search on the Registry of Marriages (ROM) website showed that she had registered her marriage to another man on Sept 29. “When she agreed to be together with him in March, she already had a boyfriend she planned to marry,” the friend wrote on the r/sgdatingscene on Saturday (Dec 20).
“On the day after ROM, she still went out with my friend and continued the relationship and even continued talks about marriage and continued accepting the monthly contribution to marriage savings from my friend.”
“She also bought lights, a digital lock, a gym machine, power tracks, etc., which she claimed she would bring over to the new house when they get married, but it’s for her house with another man.”
The situation escalated shortly before her disappearance. The friend claimed that on Dec 1, just a day before a planned trip, the woman used the man’s credit card to make purchases amounting to more than S$900 on Shopee. On Dec 2, after the man had already checked in at the airport for their trip, she allegedly blocked him on all messaging platforms and deleted her email, effectively cutting off all contact.
“She just blocked him on all platforms and deleted her email. [She took] around S$30k+,” he wrote. “Gal was from Indonesia (Chinese) but had been in Singapore for a long time. Was even in the student council during JC days, and yet…”
At the end of his post, he posed a question to the locals: “Is there no loyalty and shame even in marriage? Is it a norm that even in marriage, or close to marriage, females are still going out with other men, just for benefits? If so, what’s the point of marriage?”
He also advised other men to check a woman’s background by doing a ‘free search on the ROM website before committing to a relationship.’
“I hope your friend learns to be more vigilant.”
In the comments, many Redditors pushed back against the idea that such behaviour was common. One Singaporean wrote, “I doubt it’s the norm. If it were, we would be hearing a lot more about it. It’s most likely a rare occurrence.”
Another commented, “I don’t think this is a gender thing, more like a heng suay thing sia. Also, it should already be a red flag when someone you’re dating asks you for money la. Your friend might have been a bit too desperate.”
Others expressed sympathy for the man. “That’s insane, man. Your friend is a poor thing,” one wrote. Another added, “I hope your friend learns to be more vigilant. Hais… we really cannot lend or give money to friends or girlfriends. The joint account and other necessary security accesses must be held jointly.
In other news, a man who had been job hunting for nearly five months took to Reddit to share that the brutal job market had pushed him to accept a toxic contract role with zero work-life balance.
On the r/singaporejobs forum, he explained that when he first started looking for work, he had a clear idea of what he wanted. He was looking for a job with a decent work culture, a healthy and supportive environment, and a role that offered some sense of fulfilment. These were non-negotiables for him.
