SINGAPORE: One Singaporean woman said she “got the biggest shock of her life” after her date unexpectedly sent her a bill and asked her to transfer money for their dinner.
Sharing her story on the r/sgdatingscene Reddit forum on Friday (Dec 19), the woman said she met the man through a matchmaking event and thought things started off on a reasonable note. On their first date, he made a point of telling her, “If I ask the girl out, I would pay,” and true enough, he followed through by settling the bill. She added that she had ordered “the cheapest main on the menu” because she does not eat much in the first place.
Going into the second date, she assumed the same understanding applied.
On that date, the man ordered “the most expensive dish on the menu” for both of them to share and even upgraded the meal, which came with extra charges.
According to her, there was “zero consultation” on whether she was okay with the added cost and that he ended up eating “wayyyyy more” than she did.
Explaining why it never crossed her mind that she would be expected to pay, she laid out several reasons. First, he had already stated that if he asked a woman out, he would pay. Second, she is underweight and “doesn’t eat much,” adding that even when she orders cai png, she can usually only manage “tao ghey + tofu before I have to stop.” Third, he made unilateral decisions to add items and upgrades that increased the bill without checking with her at all.
She also pointed out that when the waiter placed the bill on her side of the table, the man “quickly grabbed the bill,” which she took as a clear and deliberate signal that he was settling it.
“So I didn’t offer to pay,” she wrote bluntly.
The rest of the date continued as if nothing was wrong. She even showed him a nearby cheesecake shop, intending to buy him a cheesecake as a small gesture, only for him to brush it off by saying he “didn’t eat cheesecake.”
At that point, she said she was still “looking forward to the 3rd date that weekend,” genuinely thinking everything was fine.
However, she was wrong. “After I reached home, I got the biggest shock of my life; he sent me the bill and asked me to send him money for the dinner.”
“I felt it was quite distasteful, but I paid my half and politely expressed that we may not be compatible. Man proceeded to scold me, telling me not to think I’m special and that ‘taking time to be present is not what makes a relationship work’ and that ‘he dodged a bullet’ which left me quite bamboozled because I literally rescheduled 2 upcoming events just to meet him, and since when were we in a ‘relationship’?”
Wanting to know if this was normal, she asked other locals in the forum: “Ladies, have you met men like this before? Is this common in dating?”
“That’s classic sour grapes; you dodged a bullet.”
Under her post, Redditors were quick to pile on the man, with many criticising his behaviour and calling him a “weirdo,” a “red flag,” and even a “loser” for making her pay and then scolding her over it. Several commenters felt his actions were unnecessary and embarrassing, saying she was better off without him.
One said, “Men like this give men a bad rep in general. Be glad he is out of your hair!”
Another chimed in, “Such a princess. He wants half of everything; can he later also split pregnancy terms? Want a traditional role but can’t even provide traditional male contributions (house, food, $$). You dodged a bullet, miss.”
A third commented, “The problem isn’t that he asks for the split, I think. The problem is he did it after. If he had been upfront and not been a sour grape after, I’d have defended him. But nah, man, not worth it.”
A fourth added, “No, it’s not just your bad luck; unfortunately, this kind of behaviour happens more often than it should in modern dating. These kinds of cases are real out there, and plenty to begin with. The lashing out after you paid and set a boundary? That’s classic sour grapes; you dodged a bullet.”
In other news, a Singaporean employer has cancelled her domestic helper’s work pass and sent her home after discovering that the helper had secretly borrowed from a loan shark.
In a post shared on the r/askSingapore subreddit on Wednesday (Dec 10), the employer recounted that her helper had taken a S$500 loan without informing the family, only to find herself trapped when the amount allegedly ballooned to S$2,000.
According to the employer, the helper had repaid the principal sum, but the illegal moneylender continued to impose escalating fees and demands that she could no longer afford.
Read more: Employer repatriates maid after loan shark terrorises her family over S$500 debt
