SINGAPORE: A 22-year-old man recently shared on social media that he is starting to “resent his girlfriend a little” because she expects him to “pay for her and take care of her in a way where she doesn’t need to pay anything” in the future.
In his post on the r/sgdatingscene subreddit, the man, who is currently serving in the army and earns between S$1,200 and S$1,700 a month, explained that, although he and his girlfriend split the cost of their meals, he is usually the one covering most of their other expenses.
He said he often pays for their “snacks, drinks, and movie tickets” and regularly buys her gifts simply because it “genuinely makes him happy.”
However, his girlfriend, who does not appear to be satisfied with this arrangement, has started hinting that she expects him to eventually take full financial responsibility once he begins working full-time.
He added that her expectations have become stronger after observing how her female colleagues’ boyfriends treat them.
According to him, many of these women do not have to pay for anything, and one of her close friends even has a wealthy fiancé working in an oil company who provides her with complete financial support.
“All these echo her thoughts and put me in an even more difficult position,” he said.
The man also recounted a recent disagreement that left him feeling disheartened. He had promised to buy his girlfriend a waffle and ice cream at her favourite café, which cost S$13.
Unfortunately, that month, his small business store had been temporarily frozen due to the weak economy, leaving him with limited income.
“I didn’t have much income, and I asked if she could pay half of it, which was S$6.50, and she was soo angry at me,” he recalled.
“I also got really upset because of this because I feel she was overreacting over S$6.50, and I want to be with someone who is a little more understanding, and I want to create a relationship environment where we can openly communicate and discuss things and help each other out.”
He concluded his post by questioning whether he was wrong for believing that splitting expenses is fair.
“Am I really in the wrong for feeling like it’s okay to split the bill, as ultimately, man or woman, we are all trying to make a living in this world and want to be as happy and successful as everyone else?” he said.
“I [just] want to be with someone who wants to be with me for who I am. I don’t want to be with someone who is so focused on money or makes expecting the man to pay for her a deal-breaker element.”
For context, he added that his girlfriend is a 25-year-old Malaysian who earns about S$3,500 a month and spends around S$750 monthly on rent while living in Singapore.
“She obviously wants a man who is a provider.”
In the comments, many Singaporean Redditors pointed out that the couple seemed fundamentally incompatible, especially when it came to their views on money and financial expectations.
Some also advised the man to walk away now before things get worse, saying it’s better to end it early than to let the resentment build and ruin them both.
One said, “Both of you are extremely incompatible. She is a 25-year-old Malaysian looking for a provider, and you are a 22-year-old who can barely even provide for yourself, let alone for another person. Why are y’all even together?”
Another echoed this view, writing, “She’s working as a foreigner, a Malaysian, and paying for her rental and other living expenses. She does not receive a CDC voucher or other benefits from the government. She obviously wants a man who is a provider, and if you think you can’t be that guy, then I suggest breaking up and focusing on building your own career first.”
A third added, “Unfortunately, it’s just a case of incompatibility in terms of expectations. If you’ve already stated your situation to her and she’s not willing to compromise, it’s not a good sign, especially when you’re still in the early stages of your relationship.”
In other news, an employer recently vented her frustration on social media, saying she “felt used” by her domestic helper, who suddenly decided to leave after finding what she believed was a “better” employer.
Posting in the Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid/Domestic Helper Facebook group on Friday (Oct 17), the employer shared that the helper had only been with her family for a few months before abruptly announcing her intention to transfer.
