SINGAPORE: In the world of domestic helper drama in Singapore, one employer’s Facebook cry for advice has sparked a passionate debate — and it’s not about chores or cooking. It’s about attitude.
A frustrated first-time employer shared in the Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid/Domestic Helper Facebook group that her Filipino helper, who was hired to care for her baby, refuses to listen to instructions. And the shocker is that the helper just ignores her employer and even raises her voice back.
“She even told me in a loud voice, ‘I already know! I have five years of experience!’” the employer wrote.
‘5 years experience? So what?!’
What followed was a cascade of unfiltered opinions from group members.
One commenter was brutally direct: “I will send her back, packing. 5 years experience? So what!? Different homes, different styles. Still new, so bold to open her big mouth! This is why I will never hire any helper from this country.”
Others echoed similar sentiments — that experience elsewhere doesn’t mean a free pass to reject present house rules.
“Your house, your baby, your family, your rules. Her experience helps, but doesn’t mean it’s the same with what you want to be done in your house,” another wrote. “Every day is a school day.”
“I have 8 years experience. I never raise my voice to my ma’am…”
Interestingly, some domestic helpers voiced their thoughts about the matter and shared their own “experience” as well — and they weren’t impressed either.
“I have 8 years of experience in childcare, from taking care of newborns to toddlers,” wrote one seasoned helper. “Yet I never raise my voice to my ma’am… every family has their own way of raising a child,” she added.
Another helper with seven years abroad under her belt explained it more diplomatically: “Even with my experience, I still listen to what my employer and her parents want — as long as it’s good for the baby.”
But she also dropped a subtle reminder for employers: “If you hired someone with experience, you must know they have knowledge. Some parents, even if they hire someone experienced, still treat them like they’re going back to school.”
“All the experienced ones think they know better…”
One comment concluded the underlying tension: “All the experienced ones think they know better, so they can throw their weight around as though they are the bosses.”
And then came this sharp reminder: “Need to remind her who’s paying her salary.”
“Maybe she’s irritated when her employer repeat-repeat talking…”
Among the more nuanced responses, one comment speculated that the helper might have felt annoyed by being repeatedly instructed.
“Maybe she’s irritated when her employer is giving her a lot of instructions and a lot of explanation, so she gets irritated with the lots of repeat-repeat talking,” one wrote. “Just observe her work… You don’t need to do a lot of talking,” the commenter added.
So… did the helper become disrespectful because she’s overwhelmed by a chatty new boss?
Five years of experience, but acts blur…
This tale of a confident helper and a frazzled first-time employer offers more than just Facebook popcorn. It shows how mismatched expectations — from both sides — can turn a potentially smooth working relationship into a tense household.
Whether you’re Team Employer or Team Helper, perhaps the most grounded reminder came from one helper who said:
“Maybe you (employer) will also complain if she (helper) with five years of experience acts blur. If she always waits for your instructions, you might also get stressed and think she doesn’t know anything.”
So while experience does matter, humility, patience, and mutual respect towards each other matter even more.
