SINGAPORE: When a Singaporean shared the news of his 60-year-old father marrying the family’s domestic helper, other Singaporeans on Reddit erupted with reactions as much as he did.
“Many think my father is making a huge mistake. They are all calling him an idiot,” he wrote in frustration. The helper, who claimed to be in her “late 40s” but was suspected to be younger, had somehow gone from sweeping floors to sweeping hearts — and soon, getting a legal wife status.
But beneath the soap opera plot twist lies a deeper fear in the son: “I just don’t want my dad to end up in the news with everyone blaming me for not stopping it,” adding, “If he gets scammed by my maid, I will have to clean up the mess afterwards.”
While legal hurdles exist — foreign domestic workers are technically barred from marrying Singaporeans under standard Ministry of Manpower (MOM) contracts — Redditors were less interested in red tape and more in red flags because this ain’t the first maid-to-missus tale in Singapore.
“YOU’RE NOT MY MUMMY!!!”
One Redditor revealed his shocking confession: “My own father did it too. It was a two-hand clapping thing. He was into her, and so was she.” The affair played out like a tragic drama — sneaking out of the master bedroom, secret love letters, and my mother, who stayed for the kids.
Another commenter also confessed: “Yes, it happened to my own dad. I never quite saw him the same way again. This was over 20 years ago, and it still traumatizes me.”
A third recalled being just a child when her helper-turned-stepmum started hitting her and refusing chores. “She clearly favored my sibling… so my little gremlin ass straight up went to her and just told her, ‘YOU’RE NOT MY MUMMY!!!’ but got slapped by her for it.”
“My friend’s ex-helper became his stepmother too…”
This trend isn’t confined to isolated households. One Singaporean revealed: “My ex-boss married his Filipino helper and built two houses for her family.”
Another added: “My friend’s ex-helper became his stepmother too… then became his ex-stepmother.”
“My dad cheated on my mum with our helper many years ago… he treated the helper better than us kids,” yet another shared his frustration.
Some go the full circle: “My neighbor’s adult son married his helper. Now three generations live in the landed house.”
And even grandpas aren’t immune, as one said: “My maternal grandfather wants to remarry at 88 — my parents refuse to let him hire a maid.”
“Pick someone your husband won’t find attractive…”
Redditors tried making sense of the pattern: “If a man wants to cheat, he’ll cheat — either with the maid, or someone else,” so as another warned wives: “You’re in charge of the hiring. Pick someone your husband won’t find attractive.”
But others pointed to emotional neglect: “If you’re outsourcing the raising of your kid to a helper, they probably are closer to the helper than the mum.”
Some see it as a power imbalance. Others see it as loneliness — or lust, as one Singaporean summed it up sharply: “These scandals are more common than you think. I see it all the time. It’s quite sad, actually.”
“If she’s his wife, then what’s wrong with that? Because she’s a maid, not a person?”
The original Reddit post author wasn’t just upset over the wedding bells — he was worried about the loss of his father’s wealth: CPF, bank savings, property — all potentially on the line, which he wanted to safeguard for his dad.
One commenter then responded to the son’s concern, hitting hard: “Safeguard his wealth? You mean from whom? His wife-to-be? But if she’s his wife, then what’s wrong with that? Because she’s a maid, not a person?”
Another said, “The man is already in his 60s, just let him be happy.” But a third dropped this pragmatic advice:
“Maybe observe and verify how serious their relationship is in the next few years first… meanwhile, try to tell him not to give her his entire bank account access in the first year, etc.”
“This is your father’s choice…”
While MOM contracts discourage such unions, real life doesn’t follow rulebooks. Whether it ends in trauma, therapy, inheritance battles — or a house in the Philippines — love (or lust) truly knows no boundaries.
As one Redditor warned: “This is your father’s choice. But if you’re cleaning up the mess, better get a mop ready.”
Because in Singapore, it seems now, even the most spotless homes have their own “dirty” little secrets.
