SINGAPORE: A non-Singaporean wondered about a custom they observed while watching Mediacorp dramas. When sitting down to a meal, they’ve observed that characters say something to one another before they themselves eat.
“Do Chinese Singaporeans actually ‘tell’ people to eat before they start eating dinner?” asked u/northbyPHX in a post on r/askSingapore on Thursday (Oct 2).
“When there is a dinner scene, I often see the family telling each other to eat before they dig in. They will say ‘ma chi fan, ba chi fan (mom, dig in; dad, dig in)’ etc,” they wrote.
Since their family comes from Asia and is of Southern Chinese heritage, their mother told them that she had to do this when she was growing up. But as for the post author, they have not seen people doing this among those in their generation.
They don’t even tell each other to “dig in,” they wrote, wondering if people in Singapore still do so.
The tradition of asking the elders at the table to eat first has its roots in Confucianism, which values filial piety highly. Like many traditions, it serves multiple purposes, as it’s a way of showing respect and even gratitude to one’s elders, as well as providing an example of hierarchy and family harmony to younger family members.
However, like other traditions, it may be slowly fading with time, at least in Singapore, based on what some of the commenters said. A number of them wrote that they did so when they were younger, but no longer do so today.
“I definitely did it with my grandma. But not with my parents. Probably just slowly losing our culture lol,” wrote one.
“I think it’s only something you do if you are eating with elder relatives, and nowadays a simple “吃，大家吃” would suffice.
When I was young, though, we had to literally direct it at each individual more senior than you, although I think everyone recognises it’s a giant pain and it’s slowly going away in Singapore,” said another.
In some families, people still address each person in order of seniority, which can take some time.
“The doing it directly part is exactly what I see in the Mediacorp shows, and what my mom said she had to do.
It does look very tedious. It took them what felt like 30 seconds to get through the scene (I’m talking about Emerald Hill lol),” the post author added in a comment.
One added, however, that in some cases, the tables have turned.
“It’s still a tradition for Chinese families to ask their elders to eat first at the table, albeit a dying one. It might not seem realistic to you now, as nowadays, it’s quite the opposite. The elders would ask the kids to stop playing with their phones and eat before the food rots away,” they wrote. /TISG
