SINGAPORE: “Do you feel lonely in Singapore too?” a local Reddit user asked in a post on Monday morning (Jul 21). They wrote about feeling “surrounded yet unseen” despite living in a crowded city, calling loneliness a “quiet epidemic” that is no longer found only among those who are alone but also strikes even those who live with their families.
“Loneliness has slipped into households filled with people, hidden behind busy schedules, polite small talk, and tired eyes,” u/PenguinFatty in a post on r/askSingapore.
They wrote about the difficulties in making new friends in Singapore, given that people are so busy and are always rushing about with “eyes on their phones.”
“Social circles are often tight and closed, formed long ago in school, work, or childhood, rarely opening to newcomers. Even in shared spaces like gyms, cafes, or churches, connection is fleeting. It’s easy to meet people, yes, but hard to truly connect,” they wrote, adding that even when people find communities, they can feel invisible in them, without a sense of real belonging.
“In a city built for efficiency, intimacy feels inconvenient. In a place full of people, many still eat alone, walk alone, cry alone, and maybe it’s time we stop pretending we’re okay, and start asking each other the one question that could open a door: ‘Do you feel lonely too?’”
The post spawned quite a discussion among commenters, some of whom wrote that not all people who are alone are lonely, and not all who are lonely are alone.
“It’s all about the mindset,” wrote one.
Another seemed to agree and added that people who want to be less lonely need to put the work in to make and maintain friendships.
“It boils down to effort as well. You want to have a social circle that is fun; you have to invest as well, time, money, appearance, speech, etc. Nothing comes for free in this world. You can’t expect fleeting connections to be deep. You want it to be deep you have to let it flow with time, find common interests, etc.,” they added.
A Reddit user who said they understand exactly how the post author feels, having gone through the same experience, gave the following suggestions: “What has somehow helped was attending social mixers (platonic). Depending on which ones you attend, the people there can be more intentional in getting to know people with no agenda. Friendly and more open to expanding their friendship groups instead of sticking to their original cliques.
I also have half a mind to solo travel and stay at a hostel so I can meet people who are not confined to their comfort zone of sticking with people they already know.”
Another commenter who appeared to feel the same way asked, “What does feeling not lonely even mean?” /TISG
Read also: ‘I feel so, so lonely’: Woman earning S$4.9k struggles to find her place among older colleagues
