SINGAPORE: In a Facebook post that quickly stirred emotions in Singapore’s online domestic helper community, one foreign domestic worker shared a jaw-dropping tale of life inside a household that has five helpers — and still, according to her, nothing is ever right.
“My lady employer has five helpers. For many months, everything we do, she sees as wrong. Always demanding — do this, do that,” the helper wrote in the Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid / Domestic Helper Facebook group. “She is only thinking of the salary she’s giving us and not our service to her family. Should I leave?” she asked for advice from other helpers and employers alike.
Her description of her employer’s behaviour — along with a laundry list of grievances — sparked an outpouring of support, shock, and dark humour from other helpers and even employers in the group.
The drama behind closed doors
According to the helper, the employer appears to have a penchant for micromanagement, contradictory expectations, and an extremely lenient parenting style — if we can even call it “parenting.”
“Her kid has become very lazy already. He can’t even eat by himself. He’s 9 years old, and his mother can’t even put his one used bowl in the kitchen. She will leave it on the table. When we ask the boy not to do that because it’s not good, his mother will tell us to just let him do that,” the helper wrote.
Despite being part of a small army of helpers, she claimed the household chores are made all the more difficult by unrealistic expectations and ungrateful attitudes. And as for meals, don’t even try to please the lady of the house.
“She is also always complaining about the food we serve to her son. Sometimes she will tell us, the food we give him is too much, and if you lessen the food, she will tell us, it’s not enough.”
In a particularly stingy and patronising moment, the helper recounted that when her employer’s husband kindly served her (the helper) food, the madam intervened to object to the gesture.
“If Sir gives me food on my plate, she will tell him it’s too much, and she will lessen and choose what she wants to take out,” the helper said.
The comments section is boiling
The post struck a nerve. Other maids and even some employers flooded the comments with their own war stories and advice, seasoned with sarcasm.
“Just leave! Let them do all the house chores — then they will know how hard it is. I don’t know why some employers are so nice to their friends but cruel to their helpers,” one employer who couldn’t hold back wrote.
The comment concluded with a cheeky jab: “If the helpers leave because of their (employers’) attitude, will their friends help clean the house, take care of the children, and cook for them?”
Several fellow helpers also chimed in with eerily similar situations.
“Mother and daughter are too lazy. Used tissue was scattered everywhere. Every month, when they get their menses, they use a white towel to wipe. They want a clean house, but their personal hygiene is so unhygienic,” one wrote.
Despite the chaos, she added: “It’s okay, I can tahan (endure). Will leave soon after finishing the contract. Too many bad memories to remember this household.”
Another maid recalled: “Same situation, sis. We argued many times because they’re not satisfied with my work. But in the last two weeks, they asked me to find a new employer. You know what? When they told me that, I was so happy! I told them I want to go home.”
When employers demand too much
While the stories may read like comedy sketches, they expose a deeper and troubling pattern — helpers expected to run households like professional staff at a hotel, while enduring micromanagement, emotional pressure, and even food rationing.
One maid painted a grim picture of how it feels to work with her employer: “All my days are so stressful, so tiring, overworked. They are very lazy. Even if they use one spoon, plate, or mug, they cannot wash them. They cannot babysit their own kids for five minutes. Always complaining about my dish. Lady boss cannot control her anger.”
It’s a recurring theme: physical exhaustion mixed with emotional neglect.
Another maid advised, “Better leave than you suffer. This type of employer deserves karma. It’s essential to prioritize your mental health,” as one more maid put it bluntly: “Just pack and leave. Don’t bother staying. Tell your employer to send you back. Simple.”
What does MOM say?
The Singapore Ministry of Manpower (MOM) has clear guidelines about the welfare of Foreign Domestic Workers (FDWs). According to MOM’s official website: “As an employer, you are responsible for the health and well-being of your FDW.”
“In situations where you (helpers) face emotional abuse, overwork, or unreasonable demands, we encourage you to first try to resolve matters through calm discussion with the employer. If that fails, you may contact the Centre for Domestic Employees (CDE) or MOM’s FDW helpline for assistance and mediation.”
Foreign domestic workers (FDWs) who face emotional abuse, overwork, or unreasonable demands are encouraged to seek help through proper channels. They can call the FDW Helpline at 1800 339 5505 to speak with an MOM officer, especially if they are in distress.
In addition to MOM, FDWs can also contact the CDE at 1800 2255 233 for support. CDE provides advisory services on employment matters and legal clinics to assist with workplace disputes.
However, as some employers in the comments warned, the decision to leave isn’t without consequences, as one cautioned: “If you cannot take it, then request to either be sent back or ask for a transfer. But do note that employers have the option to send you back instead of transferring you. Because to transfer a helper, they still need to help you source a new employer, do paperwork, and still pay the government levy.”
In other words, transfers are rarely in the employer’s interest — unless they genuinely care about the helper’s well-being.
5 helpers, one overworked household
What’s striking in this viral story is not just the poor treatment, but the sheer irony of it. With five helpers, how can one household still be filled with complaints?
The original poster never mentioned how large the home is or how many children there are — but if a 9-year-old can’t feed himself and needs five adults to chase after his bowl, the problem may be less about too few maids… and more about too much entitlement.
The good news is: the helper is now armed with community support, a long comment section of solidarity, and — if she chooses — the option to walk away with her head held high.
Helpers are not property or slaves; they deserve respect just like any other human being
Foreign domestic workers are the invisible hands behind many Singaporean homes, feeding, cleaning, and helping raise children. But when they’re treated more like property than people, things unravel quickly.
Whether it’s contradictory food instructions, a child who can’t carry a bowl, or a stingy boss removing food from your plate, there’s one thing every helper deserves: respect.
And if that’s in short supply? It may be time to pack up, move on, and find a household that doesn’t need five helpers with an always complaining employer who treats her maids like slaves.
In other news, a Singaporean employer lit up a domestic helper Facebook group with a bold declaration to basically say: “Maids should not complain if they are required to take care of a family’s newborn at night, even after doing their chores during the day.”
The post, also made in the popular group Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid / Domestic Helper, was intended to call out what the employer saw as hypocrisy among helpers. Her grievance? Helpers who apply for baby care jobs often protest when asked to work night duty and can even go on to say that mothers who hire helpers to care for their newborns “shouldn’t have kids.”
You can read the full story here: Helper’s employer says, ‘Maids should not complain if they are required to take care of a family’s newborn at night, even after doing their chores during the day’
