SINGAPORE: A 30-year-old woman who lost her entire savings, amounting to S$200,000, to an investment scam last year says this ‘downfall’ ultimately made her realise that life is incredibly fragile.
“Loss can happen in so many ways—money, love, divorce, miscarriage, cancer, ALS, losing loved ones,” she wrote on NUSWhispers. “The pain we go through isn’t something we get to choose. If it’s meant to happen, we can’t run from it.”
Before the scam, she had been laser-focused on hitting milestones by 30. She wanted the condo, the stable career, the family.
Like many others, she measured progress by achievements and timelines. Unfortunately, losing S$200,000 overnight shattered that sense of control. The future she thought she was building suddenly felt uncertain.
However, in the months that followed, her mindset began to shift. Instead of obsessing over where she “should” be, she started paying more attention to where she actually is.
“Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, and we truly never know what’s coming,” she wrote, adding that she now tries to appreciate simple, present moments instead of constantly chasing the next goal.
That emotional reset also spilt into her personal life. For years, she had avoided dating because she believed she needed to be fully stable first. “Maybe subconsciously, I didn’t think I deserved one until I had my life sorted out,” she admitted.
“But my mom—who is honestly the best—said something that stunned me: You very toot leh! All the more you should find now. Crisis is opportunity! Then you’ll know whether the guy loves you for who you are since money is out of the equation. If you have money, how you know he loves you and not your money?”
She said she burst out laughing at first, but the comment stuck with her. Without savings or financial “status” to lean on, she realised any connection she builds now would be based purely on who she is.
Finances and job opportunities
While she is slowly opening up to the idea of relationships, the financial reality still weighs heavily on her.
After losing her savings, she took out bank loans just to stay afloat. If she remains in her current job, she estimates it will take about five years to fully repay everything.
Recently, however, two new job offers have complicated things.
Company A is offering about S$10,000 a month. With that salary, she could clear her debts in roughly two years. The catch is that the company recently implemented a “hiring freeze” and is restructuring the role. “This makes me a little scared. What if they halfway say it’s redundant?” she said.
Company B, on the other hand, is offering S$7,500 a month. “I can clear everything in about 3 years. The workload is slightly heavier; I might feel mentally drained as it’s slightly different in scope, but it seems more stable.”
“I’m afraid of missing out on Company A’s higher salary and faster repayment timeline. At the same time, stability matters a lot to me now. Ultimately, I just want to rebuild stability—so that if I meet my Mr. Right and have kids someday, I’ll be ready,” she wrote.
Reflecting on the past year, she added, “I’ve learned that in life, we don’t always have mentors—sometimes we only have ourselves, but I’d really appreciate any guidance in case I’m having tunnel vision. Thank you so much for reading and for your kindness.”
“I would rather you stay in your current company.”
Under her post, many commenters weighed in with their opinions, with several encouraging her to accept Company A’s higher-paying offer.
One commenter wrote, “For practical reasons, I would take the S$10k per month offer. If you get restructured, you can list your last drawn factually as $10k and with slightly more negotiating room in your next job. If you don’t, you can continue working and pay off earlier.”
Another user agreed, saying, “Absolutely. Take the S$10,000 [job offer].”
On the other hand, some commenters urged caution. They felt she should think more carefully before making a decision, especially given her recent experience.
One user told her, “You might want to stay put first and evaluate the companies A and B more closely before your next move.”
Another shared, “I would rather you stay in your current company. I used to join a high-paying job too, and it’s very stressful because every 3 months there’s a round of layoffs, and you don’t know if you will be next,” they said.
“I left the company after a year plus, as with each layoff, the people left behind are loaded with a heavier workload, and the stress just spikes. If you are happy in your current company and can envision the long term, then stay on.”
In other news, a woman who lives in a landed property has confessed online that she is now seriously questioning her relationship after attending a Chinese New Year reunion dinner at her boyfriend’s family home, a three-room HDB flat, and finding the whole experience rather unsettling.
Writing anonymously on a local forum, she said she had always been aware that they came from different socioeconomic backgrounds.
