SINGAPORE: A 26-year-old woman shared on social media that her parents have been persistently guilt-tripping her over her new relationship and are upset that she plans to travel overseas with her boyfriend.
In a post on r/sgdatingscene, the woman said this is apparently because they “still love her ex”, whom she dated for five years.
“They genuinely believe he’s a better fit for me. When they found out about the breakup, they were extremely disappointed and blamed me for hurting someone good, but we broke up in August 2024 because I felt he wasn’t putting in any effort into our future or showing much ambition,” she explained. “Even though they’ve never outright told me to break up with my current boyfriend, I can clearly tell they’re not happy about him.”
The woman also clarified that, contrary to her parents’ belief, her current boyfriend is actually a far better partner than her ex. According to her, he is kind, driven, and treats her exceptionally well, and for the first time, she feels genuinely valued and supported in a relationship.
Despite her happiness, however, her parents have not been able to accept her new relationship. They have even warned her against going on an overseas trip that her boyfriend had planned for her birthday.
“They keep reminding me not to ‘take things for granted’ and have said they will not forgive me if I travel overseas with him. It feels like nothing I do is enough to make them happy, even though I’m making choices that are right for my life and my future.”
Seeking advice, she asked the community, “How do you deal with parents who use guilt and emotional manipulation to control your choices, especially when they truly believe they’re acting out of love?”
“I don’t know what to do anymore. They’ve never said they’ll disown me, but the emotional pressure is overwhelming. It’s like I’m trapped in a toxic cycle where I’m constantly trying to please them and keep the peace, but at the same time, I want to live my own life and be with someone who genuinely makes me happy.”
“You are 26, old enough to decide how you wanna live your life.”
In the discussion thread, many advised the woman not to let her parents’ opinions dictate her future choices.
One said, “At the end of the day, your life and relationships are yours to live. You deserve to be with someone who values and supports you, and from what you’ve said, it sounds like your boyfriend does exactly that. So… go for that trip!”
Another shared, “Do what you want in your life. Your life is yours. It took me until my second marriage to get away from my mum.”
A third commented, “You are 26, old enough to decide how you want to live your life. Don’t live in your parents’ shadow. I guess you feel you love them and don’t want to disappoint them. However, you have your life to live and your mistakes to make, and it’s really a journey you have to take.”
Others, however, disagreed, saying she should still listen to her parents since she still lives under their roof. One added, “Don’t lose your parents over a guy you’ve barely dated. Everything looks beautiful in the first year of any relationship.”
In other news, a fresh grad nearing his three-month mark at his first job took to social media to share that he’s already on the verge of quitting because of his arrogant and elitist supervisor.
In his post on the r/SingaporeRaw subreddit on Monday (Oct 5), the fresh grad vented that his supervisor (or tech lead) “constantly scoffs” whenever he asks questions and treats him like he’s completely “clueless.”
Read more: Fresh grad says elitist supervisor belittles him and ‘scoffs’ at his questions, considers quitting
