SINGAPORE: A 23-year-old man shared on Reddit that his heart felt completely broken after his girlfriend, whom he had been financially supporting for years, ended their relationship shortly after he asked her to start paying for half of their dates.
In his post on the r/sgdatingscene subreddit on Tuesday (Nov 4), the man explained that during his girlfriend’s polytechnic days, he had taken it upon himself to cover nearly all their expenses. From meals and transport to small daily costs, he paid for everything because she had limited pocket money and couldn’t work part-time due to her heavy academic load.
“She couldn’t do part-time jobs during her poly because she needed the time to study,” he wrote. “She was a little slower than her peers.”
For two years, he watched his savings drain away while doing his best to make sure she didn’t have to worry about money, but once she landed an internship, he thought things would finally even out. They agreed that she would start chipping in, just half the cost of their dates. Unfortunately, that arrangement lasted for about a month before she decided to end things.
“Honestly, it’s not that I wanted to see her pay,” he said. “I just wasn’t able to save money for two years because of our relationship, and I wanted to save a little before my own internship started.”
According to him, she claimed that her reason for breaking up wasn’t about money at all; it was about his family.
“She said it was her dynamic with my family that made her want to break up. My family has two very unreasonable people, but they have always been there and been like that from the start. She says she can’t visualise herself marrying into my family in the future because of that.”
Feeling confused, he confided in his sister, who didn’t hesitate to share her blunt opinion.
“She’s a stingy person that wasn’t willing to spend much on you,” his sister reportedly said.
At first, he said he brushed this comment off, but then he remembered his girlfriend’s first birthday gift to him, a cheap laptop bag from Shopee.
“I found out when my friend asked if it was the cheap one from Shopee, and it really was. He told me he got the same one because it was cheap,” he said.
Now, looking back, the man admitted that maybe his sister had a point. “I honestly feel used and sad, but I’m not even sure if it even is because of the money. I don’t see myself doing anything horrible enough to have warranted a breakup besides liking to play Clash of Clans while on our dates from time to time.”
Trying to make sense of the whole ordeal, he turned to Reddit for advice, asking if he might have missed any red flags.
“Did I do something wrong I overlooked? Should I have seen this coming? What can I do to avoid meeting these kinds of people in the future?” he wrote.
“You are still young; you will get over it soon.”
In the discussion thread, many Singaporean Redditors agreed with the man’s sister, saying his girlfriend had probably only stuck around for the money.
One said, “I’m sorry, bro. She’s not into you and hasn’t been for a long time. She lost interest but kept you around for the money. The signs were definitely there, but you probably overlooked it.”
Another wrote, “She was using you for money. It’s a good lesson to learn when you’re young because the dollar amount is small.”
A third added, “Not a big deal; you are still young, will get over it soon, and find the next suited person. You are what you are; if it’s like a serious problem, it’s good to change (eg, gambling issues or something like that); otherwise, you just need to find someone that suits you locally or overseas.”
Still, a handful of users pointed out that there might be other factors at play that the man didn’t mention in his post.
One Redditor also speculated that his girlfriend’s love language might be “gift-giving”, which could explain the sudden change in her behaviour.
“If acts of gifting is her love language, then asking for 50/50 would sound transactional to her and would be interpreted as you hate/don’t love her,” they wrote.
In other news, a man in his late 20s shared on social media that he lost nearly S$70,000 after being deceived by someone he once considered “a trusted friend.”
In a post on r/singaporehappenings, he explained that he lent the money in good faith about three years ago, believing he was helping out a close friend. However, the friend has never returned a single cent.
Read more: ‘Not a single cent back’: Man says trusted friend never returned S$70k loan after three years
