SINGAPORE: A 21-year-old Singaporean took to social media to share that her father expects her to financially support him the moment she graduates from university.
Posting on the r/SGExams subreddit on Sunday (Jan 11), the student explained that her father, who has no savings and works irregularly, wants her to give him a monthly allowance of at least S$1,000, on top of covering household utilities and groceries.
She added that whenever she tries to reason with him, he immediately brings up the fact that he paid for her “milk powder, diapers, and medical check-ups” when she was a baby. To her, this argument is both exhausting and infuriating, as she feels that providing these things is simply what any parent is supposed to do.
“This literally is THE BARE MINIMUM FOR ANY PARENT,” she wrote, adding that she never asked to be born and certainly did not sign up to be anyone’s long-term financial plan.
“I also argued that he’s not even at retirement age yet and is still capable of working and saving, yet he labels me as unfilial and has been talking crap about me to his friends and family. He would loudly say things like ‘[His name] Ohhh, you failed as a parent, your child is so unfilial, she doesn’t care about you. Karma will strike’ just to humiliate and pressure me,” she continued.
To make matters worse, her grandmother supports him and actively joins in.“This woman has been making the nastiest comments about money towards me since I was a child and supports him retiring. Like mother, like son, I guess. Heh. Funny thing is that she only pressures her daughters to give her allowance.”
The student stressed that it is simply not realistic for her to financially support him. She still has tuition loans to pay off, needs to save for her own future, and is planning for a BTO flat with her boyfriend.
She also shared that she has been largely financially independent since the age of 17, making the expectation feel even more unfair and out of touch.
Ending her post on a deeply frustrated note, she wrote: “I beg you, please do not have kids if you’re going to use every little thing you’ve done for them as a reason to say, ‘YOU OWE ME.’ You are the one who made poor financial decisions; do not guilt-trip and treat your kids as your retirement plan.”
“Just save up and move out.”
In the comments, many users supported her view, saying children should not be expected to financially support parents who did not plan for their own future.
One wrote, “Filial piety is a lie from Confucianism for parents to force children to obey them. Don’t need to bother with it. You are not their ATM or retirement plan.”
Another shared, “My parents used the filial piety card on me. They scolded me for even considering moving overseas. Then I got married and had my own place, they wanted to move in. Wife and I said no.”
“They kept coming every night for dinner, till one day I blew up at them, and yes, my mum played the ‘I failed as a parent because my child abandoned me’ card. Today, I no longer talk to them. I’m far happier.”
A third commented, “Just save up and move out, bah. Not much to discuss. They will not change. You either stay and deal with exploitation or accept they will label you and move on.”
In other news, a woman has confessed on social media that she is exhausted and financially strained after supporting her unemployed best friend for the past three years.
In a post on the r/askSingapore Reddit forum on Sunday (Jan 11), the woman detailed her predicament, explaining that her 33-year-old best friend has been out of work since quitting her job as a preschool teacher four years ago.
